When I was young, I loved to talk about fight stories. I was really scared of fighting, but I knew I needed a few under my belt in order to have some cred among my friends. I have always worked out quite a bit, could normally lift more than anyone I knew, and had a boxing bag in my garage that I often pummeled to submission in front of my gawking friends. The first fight I got into was in sixth grade. It was an accident, but it did the trick. One fellow, who had a history of bullying, decided to bully me. He instigated a confrontation and the tension grew. As we were at a standoff, he flinched like he was about to hit me. My reflexes kicked in and I accidentally slugged him in the jaw. I felt for him as tears welled up in his eyes before he ran off.
In high school I got into a rather serious fight. I was driving to a party with four of my buddies. We were all drunk and out of our minds. Driving down the road, someone had the gall to pass us and honk their horn (yeah, I know…can you believe the nerve?). Well, we would have none of that. We chased them down to a stop light. While waiting at the light, I jumped out of the car to chase them down (note: when drunk, for some reason you think you can chase someone better on foot than in a car). By the time I got to their window, they took off. My friends, still in the car, chased after them, leaving me behind at the corner, so I decided to walk to the convenience store fifty feet away. As I walked through the parking lot, a group of six gangster-looking guys surrounded me. I stopped. They said, “Give us your money.” I don’t remember much, but I do remember my idiotic response: “No. You give me your money.” The next thing I felt was a hard slug in my jaw. Now, being a “boxer” (if having a punching bag in my garage qualifies me as such!), I decided to start dancing around and trading punches with six guys. And you know what? I held my own. After a few minutes, my friends came back to pick me up. All of them tell the story of pulling up to me dancing in a parking lot with six hooded guys surrounding me. They jumped out of the car to come to my aid and eventually all the guys ran. I later came to find out that this group of guys were members of one of the most feared gangs around. When word about what happened got out, I was revered and honored among men. There were not too many people who would mess with me after that. Over the next few years, there were many more bar fights. I took a guy down just for talking to my girlfriend. Another time I fought for my sister’s honor. One time I had to step in as some random girl was getting hurt by her boyfriend. I was not necessarily a fighter, but I was always ready for a fight. I am just lucky no one ever had a gun or knife.
I often look back on those days and laugh. Who did I think I was? Though it is becoming increasingly difficult to tell, I still work out and I still have my bag in my garage. But it would be a rare circumstance today in which I would ever fight anyone. Don’t get me wrong. I am not a pacifist. If I am truly threatened (like I was about two years ago – another really weird story), I will protect myself and my family. But I am never looking for confrontation like I did twenty years ago. Who did I think I was?
(One more story.) One of the fights I remember most vividly happened when I was downtown leaving a bar with my buds. Some guys bumped into my friend. You just don’t do that. We all turned around. We stood there and stared at each other for about ten seconds. Then, without warning, I looked at one of the guys and clocked him as hard as I could in the face. It was the hardest and cleanest hit I ever had. The guy fell to the ground and did not move. Who in the world did I think I was? Who am I to hit someone? Continue Reading »