Forgiving God
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In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus tells a parable about the importance of forgiveness. The message – whatever someone has done against you cannot compare to the wrong that God forgives us for. Since God is willing to forgive a debt we cannot pay, we need to forgive others. That means, whatever transgressions have been committed against you, you are no longer willing to hold that against that person. Forgiving means to release that person from the obligation.
If you are like me, you may not have to difficult a time forgiving others. Yes, I have had wrong done to me. But whatever wrong has been done, I just attribute to a product of human depravity. It is not worth holding that against a person and besides, I take serious the judgment against me if I am unwilling to forgive.
There is another aspect of forgiveness that I think is harder, and that is forgiveness of self. I have made many mistakes in my life, many misguided decisions that have left scars and wounds long after the events those decisions caused. I cling to passages such Romans 8:1-4, Colossians 1:13-14; and Hebrews 10:11-14. If this is you, seeing yourself as Christ sees you enables that forgiveness.
But there is yet an even harder aspect of forgiveness that I don’t think is expressed nearly enough or openly enough as it needs to be. You see, we can forgive human action because humans are marred and can be hurtful, selfish, or disinterested in how their actions impact others. While we may not be pleased with choices we have made, especially the ones that have had lasting negative consequences, we can also chalk mistakes up to fallibility and lessons learned. But what happens when the person you are most grieved with is God? After all, he is love, and just, and pure. He is supposed to have the kindest of intentions towards his children. He is suppose to be good.
I don’t think anyone that claims Christianity, wants to readily admit that they might be harboring resentment against God. That seems so…sacrilegious? irreverent? disrespectful? But I do believe it is possible to hold unforgiveness towards God, unforgiveness that remembers situations where we felt he was supposed to do something but didn’t or not allow something that did happen. These may be unanswered prayers, death of loved ones, personal loss, humiliation or other tragic circumstances. It may not be openly expressed, but in the deepest recesses of our souls, is remembrance that is held in abeyance to be released when certain triggers are pulled.
How do we know if we harbor unforgiveness towards God? I suspect, the same way that unforgiveness is expressed towards others. The sense of injustice, the feelings of hurt, the remembrance of supposed wrong that entangles itself in responses to certain situations. Or maybe, in the quiet stillness, when thoughts of injustice impede progress to pray, to worship, to move forward, to let go. There might be that sense of unrequited love, that sense of rejection for having put a good effort forward only to have it recoiled in return. The heart sinks, burns, saddens and cries out “God, how could you?”
But unforgiveness is a prison. The same torment that Jesus predicted for that unforgiving king in Matthew 18, is the same torment experienced when the heart harbors unforgiveness, including unforgiveness towards God. It holds you captive and wraps you up in a cacophony of pity, pain and unrelenting desire to see a reversal of supposed misfortunes. Unforgiveness towards God will disable the ability to see him for who he truly is.
Forgiveness requires a release of obligation for retribution. No, I don’t think anyone would say they wanted retribution towards God. But not allowing the heart to freely give, freely worship and freely yield probably has the same effect. The release of obligation for retribution does not impose upon God requirements for him to correct situations or move in a way that would vindicate our sense of justice. It is an acknowledgment that God in his sovereignty is working out a plan that is far greater than our finite minds can comprehend, even when holding out hands empty of satisfactory results. Forgiveness enables trust.
So if this is you and you are holding unforgiveness towards God, please consider that the only person it is hurting is yourself. He is good, though at times that goodness is misunderstood and not evidentialy seen. Forgiving God is essential for moving forward in the Christian life and release from a harsh and unrelenting prison of torment.