Letters from Leavers

Leaving Christianity for All the Wrong Reasons

In the last post on this series I discussed why people leave Christianity, focusing on intellectual reasons. This post will focus on theological reasons why people leave Christianity.

Let me quickly remind you of some important prerequisites to understanding where I am coming from and where I am not coming from. I am talking about people who leave Christianity, not simply those who leave the Church. Both are very related, but one evidences a more serious departure while the other can be one step on the road to departure. Please understand that I am a Calvinist who believes in the ultimate perseverance of true Christians. But this does not give me a “get-out-of-jail-free” card with regard to this issue. I still have to deal with it from a human perspective of responsibility, even if I believe that God is in sovereign control of such things. In other words, the response, ”The reason why people leave the faith is because they were never truly called,” may be theologically true, but it is often not only unhelpful but it can be dismissive of our responsibility as Christians in the discharge of the Gospel and the understanding of seriousness of the problem that we face.

One other point of importance needs to be made. I understand that people leave the faith for other reasons besides those of an intellectual and theological nature. It is simply that in my experience and studies, I have found that these two factor in most predominately and form the basis for other reasons of departure.

Theological Reasons: Casualties by Friendly-Fire

Thesis: We have the tendency, left without theological discipleship and accountability, to make God into who we think he ought to be. When that version of him fails, it is not as if the true version has failed, but only the version we created. Therefore, we have not really left God in a proper sense, but we have left the God we made. Sure, this God may be called “Jesus” and he may have died on a cross for our sins, but, for some people, these form secondary characteristics that are not foundational.

The lack of theological discipleship in the Church has created casualties by friendly-fire.

Let me explain.

The “My will be done” type of God named “Jesus”

Imagine a person who finds God through some sort of deathbed experience. They may have been terminally ill and then they pray to God for the first time in their lives. Suddenly, they are healed. Based upon this, they accept a version of God who heals when trouble comes. Ask and you shall receive—according to your will. Their theology may allow for the name “Jesus”, the atonement for sins, and a belief that Christ is God, but they only believe this because God healed them. But what happens if they never grow with regards to their understanding of who God is, his sovereignty to take a life or to spare a life, the ultimate hope of the resurrection, and many other foundational theological issues? What happens when their spouse gets sick or their child has cancer and their version of God does not come to the rescue? Often, these will become disillusioned and skeptical of the God who brought about the previous miracle. If their belief in God is based on his healing intervention according to their will, then this belief no longer has a basis. Therefore, God no longer has a basis. Continue Reading »

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Defending the Closet Atheist

I use the word atheist to be provocative. Agnostic might be a better word.

I have an acquaintance who is a closet agnostic, not wanting to disrupt his family and friends. He attends church, sings the hymns, takes communion, but is not at all sure that God exists. He has become settled in this state of mind and heart and only confides in a few individuals—including me, whom he came to know through my book, Walking Away from Faith.

If I know him, why haven’t I argued him back into faith, some would say. I talk about atheism and apologetics in my book and I touch on related issues in an article I wrote in the most recent issue of Mission Frontiers.

People come back to faith most often through their emotions, including music and personal relationships. When someone admits their unbelief, they are regarded as unbelievers—as objects of evangelism—which puts them outside the community of faith. Continue Reading »

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Leaving Christ(ianity) - A Christian Epidemic

I sat down with a young lady a couple of weeks ago and had a conversation. This was a conversation about faith—her faith. Better put, this was a conversation about a faith that once was and is no more. She was a very interesting and bright lady—inquisitive, well-read, and suspicious. She began by telling me that she was a Christian (past tense) and had since left the faith. Christ was once a part of her confession, but, as she recounted to me, after a long voyage of not finding sufficient answers for her doubts, she believes that she had no choice but to follow her own integrity and renounce Christ all together. I asked her what her problems were and she became very emotional. It was like I represented Christianity and she was ready to take it all out on me.

Ignorance. Pity. Shame. These are all good descriptions of what she thought of Christianity. But the primary description that I felt coming from here was “betrayal.” She had been betrayed by the Church because they duped her into a belief not unlike that of the tooth fairy. When she discovered this betrayal, no one had a valid answer or excuse. So she left. She is now an unbeliever—a soon-to-be evangelistic unbeliever.

One fascination, obsession, and focus (neurotic pulse?) I have in my life and ministry is with regard to those, like this young lady, who leave the faith. You may have noticed this. I have over a dozen books giving  autobiographical sketches of those who once proclaimed to be Christian and are now evangelistic atheists, agnostics, or skeptics, with their goal to convert or, rather, unconvert others. I have been in contact with many people who either have already left or are on the verge of leaving. I get emails, phone calls, and visits from the same.

No, it is not a neurotic pulse. I believe that it is the recognition of an extremely serious issue that we are facing today. We are facing an epidemic in Christianity—an epidemic of unbelief among our own. Crowding our churches are those who are somewhere in the process of leaving. No, I am not talking about leaving a denomination. I am not talking about abandoning some institutionalized expression of Christianity. I am not talking about leaving the church (though related). And I am not even talking about renouncing religion. I am talking about those who are leaving Christ.

Over 31 million Americans are saying “check please” to the church, and are off to find answers elsewhere. Jeff Schadt, coordinator of Youth Transition Network, says thousands of youth fall away from the church when transitioning from high school to college. He and other youth leaders estimate that 65 to 94 percent of high school students stop attending church after graduating. From my studies and experience I find that leaving church is many times the first visible step in one’s pilgrimage away from Christ.

The question that we must ask is a very simple one: Why? Why are people leaving the faith at this epidemic and alarming rate? In my studies, I have found that the two primary reasons people leave the faith are 1) intellectual challenges and 2) bad theology or misplaced beliefs.

First, I want to explain this transition process, focusing on the first: intellectual challenges. You might even find yourself somewhere on this journey.

Step one: Doubt
Step two: Discouragement
Step three: Disillusionment
Step four: Apathy
Step five: Departure

Step One: Doubt

Here is where the person begins to examine his or her faith more critically by asking questions, expressing concerns, and becoming transparent with their doubt. Continue Reading »

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Letter from a Leaver: “Tears of Joy” Upon Leaving the Church


Here is a letter from a recent anonymous leaver of Christianity that was sent to me by email from exchristian.net (a site I keep up on). I want to see your responses. 

Did the Church fail her? If so, how?

Did she ever get the true Gospel? (I know you cannot really know, but what do you think?)

Her new pastor shunned her upon hearing that she was a homosexual. Was this right? What is the right response to such a situation?

She said she cried “tears of joy” when she no longer felt judged by the church (my words, not hers). How could separation from the church cause someone to cry tears of joy?

Do you think that she was shown grace?

___________________________________________________

“I realized at an early age that something was very wrong with the Baptist church I went to. It was pretty bad when a eight year old child can tell a place is corrupt.

My first of many churches was in north Alabama, a very horrid and dim place where half the population cannot read or write. At the early age of four I was taught that homosexuality was wrong, and if you were you would go straight to hell. In fact, you would go straight to hell for lots of things it seemed. Continue Reading »

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Walking Away from Protestantism: Francis Beckwith Converts to Catholicism


Friday night’s “Letter’s From Leavers” theme is taking a slight twist. It has been reported that Francis Beckwith has just converted to Roman Catholicism. The details are sketchy and Dr. Beckwith has yet to speak publicly about this, but is seems that the reports are true. This will come as a great shock and disappointment to many evangelicals. Francis Beckwith is currently an associate professor of theology at Baylor University (June 2007) and has written prolifically championing the evangelical faith and evangelical causes. His books include (w/ W. L. Craig, J. P. Moreland) To Every One An Answer: A Case for the Christian Worldview (InterVarsity Press, 2004);? (w/ G. P. Koukl) Relativism: Feet Firmly Planted in Mid-Air (Baker, 1998); (w/ L. P. Pojman) The Abortion Controversy 25 Years After Roe v. Wade: A Reader, 2/e (Wadsworth, 1998). More importantly, Beckwith is the current president of Evangelical Theological Society. Continue Reading »

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Why Kristie Walked Away from Christianity at 20 Years Old

I guess Friday is now for leavers. Might make for depressing Fridays :)

Let me introduce you to Kristie (name has been altered to protect her identity). Please read her letter expressing why she walked away from the faith at 20 years old. 

My name is Kristie and I live in Dallas, Texas. I am twenty years old and have grown up in a very strict Southern Baptist home. I’ve been on my own now for several months and have since decided to quit going to church. This choice was a difficult one for me and I had to do a lot of soul searching. Continue Reading »

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Why Jamie walked away from Christianity at 19 years old

This letter was posted on another website. Short evaluation to follow.

First off, I feel I should state that I am only 19, and not what you could call “heavily-educated in religious topics.” I was raised, strictly, on Lutheran practices, and for quite some time, I guess as a blind child, believed all I was told. I went through baptism, as well as confirmation, still believing everything I was told. It wasn’t until 3 years ago when I found a loop hole that no one would answer, or contradict… and instead of answers or help, I received condemnation, and the joy of being ignored by EVERYONE in my church going congregation who have heard of my simple statement, that still lies unanswered after so long. . . . Continue Reading »

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Why are People Leaving the Church? (2)

I found this letter from “Wally” to be particularly sad and typically disturbing. It hurt to read. “Wally” raised his family in the church, but now, later in his life, has left the faith. While his entire family passionately moves forward in the faith, he is a “closet unbeliever.” Reason: Because of the horrific acts of God in the Old Testament. As he describes it: Continue Reading »

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Why are People Leaving the Church?

 Leaving the Church

It is no secret that the ranks of the Christian church–the organized Christian church–are thinning. People are less and less likely to be involved in local churches for many reasons. The postmodern ethos is partly to blame (or “credit” might be a better word). Why are people leaving? Continue Reading »

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