Dear Homo sapiens,
This has been a rather unfortunate week for you. Since the world’s attention will turn to London next week with the Summer Olympics, I decided a voice must speak up to make next week more civilized.
A vile disease spread through your species this week. I don’t see it as frequently as in prior times and prior places but for some reason it struck twice this week. Please heed immediate caution. If you desire the Olympic games to go smoothly, do your best to eradicate the spread of this disease. If honesty continues to spread there will be no limit to its brutality.
It was brought to the attention of humankind, this week, that Dan Cathy is pro-family. The president of Chick-Fil-A opened his hate-filled mouth stating, “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit.”
Unbelievable. Unconscionable. Who knew Chick-Fil-A was a Christian organization? Sure, they’ve always been closed on Sunday but wasn’t that because they are backwoods NFL and NASCAR fans? It turns out they are closed on Sundays to allow employees to go to church, be with their families, and observe the Sabbath. Cathy further added insult to injury stating God may know best how a family should operate. Can you believe a Christian would make such a ridiculous statement?
Where will this end? Will Atheists start telling people there is no God? Will my mortgage company tell me what I owe them? Will Apple store employees start making fun of Microsoft? If a Christian will honestly communicate orthodox Christian ideas, will honesty ever stop infecting Homo sapiens? We need to stop the madness. For the sake of humanity.
If one encounter with honesty was enough to ruin the week for the species, a second encounter hit the planet. An epidemic may be on the horizon. An NBC reporter asked Mitt Romney whether London was ready for the Olympic games. Romney questioned the readiness of London to host the games. Thankfully the British press quickly sought to eradicate this honesty coming from the lips of Romney.