click here to tweet this post
click here to share with your friends
subscribe to this feed
Top Eleven Reasons the Arminian Did Not Cross the Road
by C Michael PattonJuly 23rd, 2010
10 Comments
11. He is the one who is in charge. No one is going to make him do anything.
10. We are not sure if he will cross or not. No one knows. Not even God.
9. He has felt the draw of the other side of the road and has resisted thus far.
8. He heard someone yell at someone on the other side calling him a dork. He thought he said “Dordt.” It scared him.
7. Two guys named John and Ed were on the other side. It was too big of a risk (and they looked mean).
6. He will cross the road. But it won’t happen until just before he dies. Insurance. What if he did it early and changed his mind? Smart thinking.
5. Finney and Pelagius just crossed. Everyone already thinks he follows them. To cross now would just confirm their suspicions.
4. He shipwrecked on his way across therefore he never made it.
3. God cast a vote for him to cross. Satan cast a vote for him not to cross. He holds the deciding vote.
2. He did cross the road. In fact, he has crossed it over a dozen times. He just keep backsliding.
1. He did cross the road but stopped half way. One side was Geneva and the other side was Rome.
Similar Posts:
- Top Ten Reasons Why the Emerger Did Not Cross the Road?
- Top Eleven Reasons Why the Reformed Theologian Did not Cross the Road
- Top Ten Reasons the Evangelical Did Not Cross the Road
- Top Ten Reasons the Dispensationalist Did NOT Cross the Road
- Why I Don’t Like “Once-Saved-Aways-Saved”
Loading ...
10 Comments
Like or Dislike:
0
Definitely not as funny as the Reformed one, but good enough.
Like or Dislike:
0
Make up your mind already! yes or no?!! Man! the guys got a green light and he’s just sitting there!
Like or Dislike:
0
Okay, I admit it, that was not so much why the Arminian did not cross the road, as it was showing my frustration (and road rage) that he wouldn’t cross the road
Like or Dislike:
0
[...] 24, 2010 · Leave a Comment From Parchment & Pen: Why The Arminian Did Not Cross the [...]
Like or Dislike:
0
“We are not sure if he will cross or not. No one knows. Not even God.”
In fairness this is more of an open theist then an Arminian. I bet you could come up with some fairly funny zingers for that group as well!!
Like or Dislike:
0
Michael T,
True. As you may have seen, I mischaracterized all the groups, including my own!
Like or Dislike:
0
We need one for open theists!
AMR
Like or Dislike:
0
12. He wasn’t elected to.
Like or Dislike:
0
Actually, despite what others said, he says he freely chose to cross the road. On the other side, he found out his choice wasn’t as free as he’d thought.
Like or Dislike:
0
[...] Top Eleven Reasons the Arminian Did Not Cross the Road [...]
More Comments: