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Transparency
by C Michael PattonJanuary 15th, 2010
21 Comments
Brett Favre does the best commercials. I love them. I especially like the one that came out just after the new NFL season began. Brett Favre was trying to decide on a television to purchase. Right when he finally makes up his mind and expresses it with certainty saying, “I’ll take this one”, he changes it saying, “I don’t know…” Why do I like it?” He is putting on display his indecisive personality which, in popular NFL culture, is very frustrating. He always waffles. He can never decide whether he is staying in the NFL or retiring. What he does in these commercials is make fun of himself. He knows the culture is frustrated with his waffling. But instead of getting defensive, giving reasons for his waffling, and trying to saving face, he gets transparent. He let’s people know that he is just like them. He can’t make up his mind. What courage it must take to become so three dimensional.
During my Principles of Biblical Teaching course, I tell my students to be careful not to always set themselves up as the hero. When giving an illustration on how a certain principle should be carried out, sparingly use personal stories where you are the one who triumphs. In fact, I tell them, more often than not, when you are illustrating failure, use yourself if you can. This not only adds dimension to your character, it also lets people know you are real. Don’t be like the old preacher who told his congregation, “I am going to preach today on humility, and might I say that it is the best sermon I have ever read.”
One of the Christian’s most beloved passages in all the Bible is Romans 7:14-25. This is where Paul lets his failures shine through. Listen to this:
“For we know that the Law is spiritual; but I am of flesh, sold into bondage to sin. 15 For that which I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate. 16 But if I do the very thing I do not wish to do, I agree with the Law, confessing that it is good. 17 So now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin which indwells me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the wishing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. 19 For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish. 20 But if I am doing the very thing I do not wish, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin which dwells in me. 21 I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wishes to do good. 22 For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, 23 but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? 25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin. (Rom 7:14-25)
What a wonderfully transparent passage! Why do we love it so? We love it precisely because we can so identify with it. “Hey Paul, I am a wretch too! Thanks for identifying with me.”
The entire Bible is filled with the successes and failures of so many. The Bible is transparent about the human condition. Why do we feel such a burden to dress ourselves up so nicely and hide our sin? Adam ate the apple. Noah got drunk. Abraham gave his wife to a national leader for self preservation. Lot found fellowship with debauchery and loved it. David took another man’s wife and killed him to hide his sin. Peter denied that he even knew Christ. John fell down and worshiped an angel. Transparency at its best.
Reasons why we are scared of transparency:
Fear of rejection: “Its all about me. If I let others know about this or that struggle, what will they think about me. They will reject me and all that I say.”
But it is not about you. It is about God. We already know you have issues. Your issues have issue. You are a sinner just like us. We are not going to reject you for exposing what we already really know. In fact, you will gain our respect and have our ear more so than if you were not transparent. We don’t really trust people who don’t show some cracks here and there.
It might sterilize my message. “I will turn into a hypocrite. If I let people know about this problem, then I won’t be able to preach, teach, or encourage its opposite with conviction.”
This evidences a very misguided philosophy of preaching. When you preach, you are first preaching God’s word, not yours. Of course you are struggling with these issues. Of course this passage is speaking to you. If you are not willing to apply the message to your own life and let it convict you, then you are a hypocrite. But you are not one if you struggle with sin.
I don’t struggle with sin that much. “I don’t really think that I am that bad. In fact, I am a pretty good chap. I have never committed adultery. I have never murdered. I don’t curse. I even eat right for goodness sake. Therefore, I have every right to preach and teach others to avoid sin.”
You are in denial. You have yet to come to realize how sinful you really are. You have not grasped how deep sin really is. Normally, this comes from the more legalistic type who have a veneer of righteousness, following by the letter of the law. This type of person needs to be broken. Until you can say “Have mercy on me, the sinner,” I don’t think you are qualified to preach the word of God.
Transparency makes light of sin. “Wearing your failure on your sleeve only encourages people to follow in the same failure. ‘Well, so-and-so struggles with this sin; therefore, it must not be that bad.’ That is the reaction you will get. Sin is too serious to be flippant about. Give people this excuse and how will we be able to curb their sin?”
You know what? Sometimes this can be the case. The problem is that people with this attitude are the ones who don’t like Paul’s transparency. In fact, for this very reason, many want to say that Paul, in Romans 7, is speaking of his former state of sin, before he was a follower of Christ. In my opinion, that torches the passage and Paul’s argument. Paul is being transparent. He is telling us that he often does the very thing he hates. The solutions is in chapter 8, but that is not what this post is about. Your job is not to manipulate the truth, putting on a veneer of righteousness, in order to keep people from sinning. That is the job of the Holy Spirit.
Transparency need not make light of sin either. So long as you are revealing your struggle with the sin, not a complacency toward it, you will encourage people to enter into the same struggle.
Where transparency goes sour:
Fake transparency. I have seen fake transparency. It is not pretty. Its not pretty at all. In these situations, all people want to do is identify with others. Therefore, they not only use themselves as the bad illustration all the time, but they overdress it. They act like they are mad at God so that their audience feels better. They pretend to struggle with something that they really don’t struggle with. They act ignorant about a subject that they are very familiar with. They attempt to identify with issues that they really don’t identify with. It comes across as sloppy and weak. This is not what transparency is all about.
Overdone transparency. Sometimes, people get a taste of the reward of transparency, and then go overboard. There is a balance here. Wisdom, discernment, and tact are all very important. There are certain things you reveal in private and certain things you reveal in public. Don’t throw-up all over people just for the sake of identity. Pray about what to reveal. Despite the spirit of this post, some things are better left unsaid in many contexts.
Crass transparency. Refine what you say. Be delicate. Be somewhat timid in the way you reveal yourself. Be sensitive to the audience. There is a local preacher near me that does not follow this principle at all. He talks about sex, covering details that are better left unsaid. This is not transparency, but a tactless attempt to be current with the insensitivity of the world concerning certain things.
Don’t forget that we do need heroes. We need those people out there who have triumphed. We need illustrations of success just as much as failure. I don’t advocate always hiding your strengths. Sometimes I have seen people who seek so much to identify with others, that they shroud their strengths. Being transparent does not mean that you have to look like a dope in everything. People will look up to you for both your strengths and your weaknesses. People will see your strengths eventually. You don’t have to put them on display, but you don’t need to shroud them in shame either.
Be real. That is all I am saying. Transparency is something that God has already displayed in the Scriptures. He did not hide human failure. There is no reason for us to either. Be transparent, but do so with great wisdom. Take the cue from Brett Favre and let us not take ourselves too serioiusly here. Be real.
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21 Comments
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Michael, may I say that you are one of the few that qualifies to write this post!
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Seriously good word Michael. I’m a pastor and have been counseling with a brother on some marriage issues. He texted me yesterday sharing changes he’s making…I offered some advice and encouragement…His final text was asking for prayer. As I promised my prayers, I realized that some of the things he needs prayer for, are the very same things I need prayer for. In many ways I am fighting the same battle as a husband. So, in the return text, I asked for his prayers and then promised mine…
What you’re sayng here is important…
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I agree with the thrust of this post, but I disagree on Romans 7. The point still holds equally well from Philippians though.
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A slightly different example… but look at David Letterman – when all of his mess came out recently, he defused it by being transparent about it, and now you’d think it never happened.
People love transparency, except with me… that’s how most of us think anyway!
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Great post, Michael. It’s a difficult balance to strike, sometimes.
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I’ll second Dan M.
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And yet by the power of the Spirit and the new covenant, what Paul experianced was an impossibility.
At what point is the believer transformed and worthy of entrance into the presence of God?
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“Be real”. Agreed.
Altogether a lost art in our culture of keeping up appearances, and making sure we don’t insult anyone even at the expense of truth that needs to be told sometimes.
So I’ll tell mine. Christians shouldn’t be wishy washy either. Folks should know where we stand, otherwise they can’t depend upon us.
I would add to the post “Be consistent”.
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I think another reason for not wanting to expose weaknesses and failures, is that people will not understand. And not only will they not understand, but then impose that misunderstanding on their perspective of you. I suppose that is similar to rejection, but maybe not the same thing.
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No wonder then that Paul is credited as being the father of the Nicolaitans.
He planted the seed.
He despaired in the flesh.
He turned to the Spirit.
It had no more power in him to tame the flesh than the written code did.
How much less in those less disciplined in the flesh than his upbringing in the Law had rendered him.
By introducing freedom from the Law he created lawlessness in those less disciplined in the flesh.
I say again, this should not have been the case in a new covenant situation.
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Post, please don’t veer from the subject of the post. It is about the value and problems of transparency.
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Sorry Michael.
I will not post any more here.
I will just send to your Email.
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“I will just send to your Email.”
I’m sure CMP will be thrilled by this ROFL.
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“Fear of rejection: “Its all about me. If I let others know about this or that struggle, what will they think about me. They will reject me and all that I say.” ”
Sadly, sometimes, this fear is valid.
Too, and perhaps pushing the parameters of this discussion a bit, there is so much focus on leadership in some strains of the American church, a leadership modeled on slick, success-driven business principles (think church CEO vs under-shepherd as a pastoral model), that signs weakness may be interpreted as failure. Sometimes grace is missing from the framework. Personally, I thank God that He often chooses to use the weak and foolish to confound the strong and the wise. Therein I find solace.
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The timing of this is interesting. I am taking one of my courses at DTS on-line and the very first assignment we have to do, is write our autobiographies. We post them and then interact with the other students in our group.
I don’t have the picture perfect story by a long shot, and have made many mistakes. But I believe in transparency, because I know that there are others out there as well who can quickly cower under the shadow of guilt and regret. So I hope my story encourages others that Christ’s love and redemption knows no bounds.
But as I was reading the other stories, there was a part of me that regretted being so open, and even with the very edited version of my story. I was confronted with stories that seemed to be the “right way of doing things”. For the married people, they’ve been married to their spouse for X years, raise kids, serve in ministry, etc. No divorces, no unequally yoked marriages, no single parenting. There is a part of me that says “don’t share – no one needs to know that you were married twice and both were unequally yoked marriages or that you had a 13 year period of rebellion away from God during that time. Just tell them you are a widow with 2 kids and leave it at that. They will not understand since they did things the right way and you obviously didn’t”.
It’s tough because on one hand, you don’t want to hide or feel shame with struggles or past history. There is no condemnation to those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1). So many failures in the Bible as Michael points out. But on the other hand, you just get the impression that people will not understand, especially those that have not made mistakes the way you have. There is a part of me that really wants to keep quiet about my story but I don’t know if that’s a good thing.
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I always viewed “transparency” before they were labeling it as “transparency” as personality. We all need to be humble and admit that we are sinners and everyone needs to check their pride because we have nothing to boast about, but there are reserved personalities that will never be transparent and I don’t think they should fight themselves to become transparent. If you starch your shirts, jeans and underwear this maybe a clue you’ll flunk out at an attempt to be transparent. But that does not mean that person is dishonest with themselves or others.
I think it is not only true of individuals but of ministries , we all have our place and functions in the body but I am thankful for those who can bare it
they are not so much a comfort by way of comiserating but just easy to be around and usually entertaining to boot.
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Thanks for the post. The Lord was just encouraging me yesterday to be more transparent with others. For those of us who are “professional Christians,” such as missionaries, being transparent can be very threatening.
As I sit down to write some donor correspondence, I will keep your points in mind. Especially that “It’s about God.” Our stories need to point to His adequacy, not ours.
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I totally agree with this post! I think we have lost the art of transparency in part because we have lost the art of discipleship. When discipleship takes place I think transparency will naturally follow and much more easily.
I think of Augustine’s Confessions, the works of Luther and Calvin as extra-biblical examples of transparency that the church needs to follow in addition to those mentioned in the post.
Good work Michael!
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Here in Big D we got another lesson from Favre this afternoon…
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[...] the blog Parchment and Pen. Written by C. Michael [...]
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I so appreciate your post. I spent 8 yrs in a church in the Wesleyan/Arminian tradition. There was no transparency. People claimed they could go weeks and even months without committing any sin. There was a constant emphasis on how “saintly” we are. At first we appreciated this positive and optimistic outlook. However…when we got involved behind the scenes of this church, we discovered there was a lot of hidden sin going on. Ironically, we saw more sin in this church than in any other we have been a part of. When people focus only on their “saintliness”, when people won’t admit their capacity to sin, when people are not honest about their struggles….this only seems to lead to more sin, not less. Although they claimed the opposite.
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