I think a more important issue for potential couples is the issue of Halloween.

When I was growing up, we had halloween parties IN OUR CHURCH. My parents helped dress us up and my Sunday school teachers presided. Then, sometime between the time I left childhood (well actually when I got too big to pass myself off as elementary school age) and when I got my own kids, some wacko branch of evangelicalism took over.

Now even my mother has sent me a little book on the evils of halloween and warned me that nothing makes the “other team” happier than all those kids going door to door collecting O’Henry bars and bags of chips. Even my brother’s wife got my bro to cave in and ban halloween! (homeschooler, go figure). What! have we all become JWs?

Since when did evangelicals decide that their own harmless and fun Halloween experiences were a fluke, and that dressing up inevitably leads to cross-dressing and satanic rituals and sacrifices behind the school gym after 3:30? If I had a nickel for every demon that invaded my house because of my jack-o-lanterns on the front porch I’d be rich.

And what’s with all the new evangelical halloween experts? That alone is reason to pull the plug on the internet and google. Old wives’ tales on the internet, who says culture can’t keep up with technology.

Since when did our lives become chapters in a Frank Peretti novel? Do people actually think that stuff is true? That Bob Larson was an authority? It really bothers me that evangelicals have turned an evening of fun into a salvation risk. It’s so true, I’m currently a backslidden Christian satanist because I dressed up as Spiderman when I was 10. The next day I was drawing pentagrams with melted chocolate and divining the future by throwing packets of “Rockets” on the floor.

I just want my kids (and my nephews and nieces) to dress up in cute outfits, trick or treat with their friends, and meet their neighbours without having my pastor and elders come to my house for an exorcism and cleansing.

And please, stop with the “alternate parties”. How lame. Ranks right up their with New Years Eve watchnight services. Not only would I be embarrassed to go (and properly so), but it constitutes the sort of cruelty to children that rates having them taken away by the local Child and Family Services.

Evangelicals ruined something good, and everyone knows it but us (well, “us” excluding “me”, I wouldn’t call myself an evangelical anymore even if someone paid me).

regards,
#John (a.k.a. Satan’s tool for taking kids out of the “Kingdom” and into the night).

If the Calvinist wants to marry the Arminian, he should admit he is wrong and become an Arminian!

Kevin,

I wonder beyond the Calvinism/Arminianism, Complementarian/Egalitarian..I’m not sure how you arrived at the Calvinist husband would be more likely to butt heads..I wonder about the male ego in a situation like this regardless of Calvinism or Arminianism, Complementarian or Egalitarian. It would take a different fellow, that could have his wife disagree with him on something of this importance, hopefully important, and not take it personally. I can’t personally set my sites on one male , in my minds eye, that I have real life experience with, that would be okay in the long run with that type of “disapproval” from his wife. I’m not knocking it or him, just calling it like I see it. Love is strange

I wonder how egalitarian/complementarian views play here. There seems to be some correlation between the two and Calvinism and Arminianism. Generally speaking (although not always) Calvinists are more complementarian and Arminians are more egalitarian.

Given that, it one might see different rates of marriage success based on which spouse is which. For example a Calvinist husband would seem more likely to butt heads with his Arminain wife than would an Arminian husband with a Calvinist wife.

… Perhaps that is not what you meant but i like the image anyways

Raynor – love the description of Calvinist vs. Arminian as a ditch!

Michael offers much good advice here, but I agree that there’s an overemphasis on doctrine. Ksmac hits a point that needs to be more urgently considered. Also, what will the children be taught? Believe it or not, there are churches that gracefully straddle or even ignore the Calvinist/Arminian ditch. A marriage can easily do the same.

One thing to consider is which church you will end up going to after you get married.

It was a little stressful finding a church when your wife is an Arminian but you are a Calvinist.

I’m glad you separated question 1. and 2. – a helpful distinction that, thanks to Luther’s reading of Paul, Christians aren’t necessarily followers.

My Arminian self is wishing more Calvinists were like CMP.