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When You Go Right and God Goes Left – Reflections on "God Sightings"
by C Michael PattonAugust 24th, 2009
36 Comments
There have been times too numerable to count where it seems that I have gone one way suspecting the Lord was heading in the same direction only to find out the often heart-breaking reality that God is going a different direction.
As Christians, like anyone else, we seek to confirm our worldview (our belief system) in our experiences. I do. I am constantly looking for events—for “God-sightings”—in my walk that evidence what I already believe. Sometimes we become reliant on such events to the point where the event itself becomes the grounds or anchor to our faith. While this is understandable, it is very dangerous.
C.S. Lewis Story
I am haunted by the words of C.S. Lewis in his A Grief Observed, (loosely quoted) “It is not as though I have quit believing in God, it is that I have come to the point where I say, ‘So God, this is who you really are.’”
Let me back up.
In 1956, at the age of 58, Lewis married Joy Gresham. This was at first a benevolent legal marriage due to Gresham’s need for British citizenship. However, they both fell in love. After finding out that Gresham had contracted terminal bone cancer, they sought a Christian marriage. In prayerful hope they lived together as husband and wife. The cancer went into remission and they praised God for the unexpected. God had done something wonderful. An anchor in their experience. It was a reason to shout praises to God for his lovingkindness.
However . . .
The remission was short lived. Just three years after their hospital bedside wedding ceremony, Joy’s life was taken by the cancer. One year later Lewis writes the words above in one of his most profound and introspective works, A Grief Observed. The praise that he gave to God was turned into confused bitterness for a time. So confused that he wrote those terrible words, “It is not as though I have quit believing in God, it is that I have come to the point where I say, ‘So God, this is who you really are.”
A personal illustration
I often reflect on the journey of my sister’s death. The specific point in that journey has to do with a “message” that we got from God that turned out to be misunderstood, like that of the cancer’s remission in the life of Lewis. To make a long story short, my sister was very suicidal for about two years. She lived close to me in Frisco, so when there was a problem, it was up to me to come to the rescue. I had already had to break her door down at home and rush her to the hospital because of an overdose on sleeping pills, take her kicking and screaming to the local psych hospital to admit her twice, and travel to her house 16 other times in search of her when she had gone silent. One time, we could not find her anywhere. She was not at home or at work. I did not know what to do as I knew that this particular day was not a good day for her. We knew that she was very suicidal. I got in my car and started looking for her. In short, I found her. It was nothing less than a miracle as I randomly pulled into a hotel off the highway. I found her in a room with a six pack and a gun. I stopped her.
In the middle of this tragic situation, my family and I thought that God was answering our prayers which pleaded for her life. We had this “divine” comfort that she was not going to die. Otherwise, how do we explain such a miracle?
Well, we were going right and God was going left. Despite the praise (which, looking back, seems like some sort of arm twisting way to gain divine assurance), Angie did take her life three months later in a different hotel room which I could not find.
On a less tragic note
Last week Mimi’s (Kristie’s mom) dog died. My girls loved this dog. They cried and cried and asked me why God would take the dog away.
Let me back up again…
Katelynn, my oldest daughter (10), was praying that the dog be found. There was a pack of strays outside and the dog ran out after them to protect, according to Katelynn, Kylee, my 9-year-old. He (our dog) does not weigh more than ten pounds so it was a very brave thing to do. The dog went missing. Last time this happened three years ago with Mimi’s other dog, it was killed. We thought the worst.
However, Katelynn called me at work in great joy, “Daddy!!! Daddy!!! They found Squirt [the dog's name]. I prayed and prayed and they found him!!! I asked everyone to pray on Facebook and we found him!!!” She was so excited and I was pleased that God had given her this experience. However, remembering God’s MO, my excitement was peppered with hesitation.
Three hours later, Katelynn called crying bitterly. “He’s dead. He’s dead. Squirt is dead!!!” It seems that the stray dogs had done too much damage and the vet had to put Squirt to sleep. Katelynn was going right and God was going left.
Act Two
The very next day, I get another phone call. Very excited this time. “Daddy, daddy!!! Guess what!!!!! We fount Nuke!! We found Nuke!!” Nuke was the dog I told you about earlier that had been supposedly killed three years earlier. “We were just driving down the road to Mimi’s house and there he was, walking down the road.”
Where had this dog been for three years? Why did he show up the day after Squirt died? God? What was he saying? Not really sure, but this is too weird for it to be a coincidence. I was more than tempted to lay this down as a potential “God sighting.” In fact, I posted it on Facebook. Forget the fact that I did not know what this meant, it was a great gift to my children. They were so excited…
Don’t you get too excited . . . God is going left.
The next day, Kristie’s mom discovered something. Although the dog was identical to the dog that was lost three years ago, it was not spayed. Nuke was. It was not the dog we thought it was. God was not present . . . at least in the way we thought. Devastated once again, this small anchor was pulled to the surface.
I could tell many more stories, but maybe these will suffice as illustrations about how we need to be very careful about letting our experiences be the anchors of our faith. I could also tell stories about how I went right and God was there but I don’t want to right now. As beneficial as that would be, I want to talk about those times when we misunderstand what God is doing and purchase too much equity in that particular stock.
In the end, I have learned that the anchor to my faith is the resurrection of Christ. Christ is not Lord because he rescues people from cancer, saves the depressed, or brings dogs back to life. He is Lord because Christ is risen. It is that simple. I will have many other anchors and so will you. But none of them compares to the anchor that is the resurrection of Christ. Hold on to those other anchors loosely, knowing that God is involved and can be praised in all things, but not necessarily in our interpretation of all things.
The lyrics to The Frey’s song “You Found Me” come to mind. In a Psalmist-like rendering of confusion, the words spoken to the Lord (with which we can all identify) ring loudly.
“Where were you when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came”
But the call had already come. Two-thousand years ago on a cross on a hill and in an empty tomb. It was and is a call made to all of us.
How about you? Are there any times when you have gone right and God was going left? Please share.
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36 Comments
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When we lived in Indiana we attended a small fellowship that was experiencing a variety of manifestations of the Spirit–tongues, interpretations, words of knowledge, prophesy and healing. A young couple had a baby that had severe difficulties at birth. They spent weeks in and out of the hospital. Several people seemed to believe that the baby’s health had something to do with the health of our little Body. The baby would rally and we all would cheer. Several of us prayed fervently and some even fasted for weeks. The baby came home from the hospital and his prognosis was good. Tragically he choked on some food, asperated, ended up in the hospital again, and eventually died. We went left and God went right though it felt more like a roller coaster ride. I do not deny that what we thought was going to be the long term solution did not happen. At the same time, many of the lessons our Body learned about supporting one another, being inconvenienced, prayer, were directly related to the “words” we received but put too much store in. Even realizing, as a Body, that we truly cannot predict the direction God will go in next, and that His best for us does not always seem good from our point of view, gives me confidence in His presence. Maybe it is a case of learning the difference between anchors and bouys that are anchored.
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For most of the 5 years that my husband was sick, I fervently prayed and believed God for healing, his salvation and a turn-around in the marriage. None of that happened and he passed away (although I’m really hoping that in the end he trusted in Christ). Little did I know then that his passing would open up opportunities that I would have never thought possible.
I cannot begin to fathom how God runs His universe but I have learned that in spite of it, it goes well when we just trust Him.
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This blog articulates exactly what I’ve been going through.
God took me 1000 miles away and I had a very certain understanding about why He was doing this. It’s been a year and I’ve know concluded I have no clue what I am supposed to do. And I almost fear doing anything for fear of it not being what He is in.
My situation is more that I’ve gone straight and God is going left. God took me to where I am for a very specific reason, it’s just not the one I thought it was, or the one I’d given my heart to. But His purposes have proven greater than mine, even if I don’t want to see it that way.
But I guess this is faith. Doing all we can to proclaim the gospel. Trusting God to guide our steps. Seeking to live a righteous life, regardless of what turns He adds.
Thank you tons for this article.
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Not long after becoming a Christian, I began to feel that I could best serve Christ in a full-time vocational capacity. Marriage and the birth of our first child occurred before my wife and I finally pulled up stakes, left two promising careers, and moved a thousand miles away so that I could attend seminary. I was convinced that this was the best stewardship of the gifts, talents, and abilities that God had entrusted to me.
That was almost thirty years ago. Since that fateful turn on I-70 to head west, I have had no opportunities to serve God in vocational ministry. Despite being (informally) voted to be “The Most Likely to Get a Great Christian Job after Graduation,” I have had church door after church door slammed in my face. The addition of a D.Min. did nothing to make me more “marketable.” Friends, who used to try to encourage me with spiritual rationalizations, now just shake their collective heads and say nothing. It confuses, angers, and maybe threatens them, too.
About a year ago, I just gave up. I haven’t set foot in a 501.c.3 “church” since then and have no intention of doing so again. As in never ever. I have no idea what happened on my run down God’s mountain.
Was it me? Am I the problem? Did I turn left when God turned right? Or did God and I turn right while all these churches were turning left?
I can concoct more spiritual “explanations” and rationalizations (“I’m like an OT prophet to whom no one listens” or “I’m like David wanting to build the temple but not being the right guy”) but they don’t do any good in the long run. I’ve given up trying to figure it all out. I don’t know where the problem really lies, whether with me, the church, or both. I know God is not the problem. I don’t blame him.
So as I ski down this double-black-diamond trail that remains of my life, I’m not looking around to see if God is in front, behind, or beside me. I figure if he needs me or wants me, he’s more than capable of turning this run whichever way he chooses.
As for me, I’m just going to see where this run winds up and to keep trying not to fall.
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I operate under this idea, namely, that we will never know in this life whether or not God answers our prayers. His ways are not our ways.
If we pray for X and get X, we have no way of knowing if God was involved. If we pray for X, and get Y, we have no way of knowing if God was involved. We are not privy to when and how God operates in our lives.
Elizabeth Elliot has stated in Through Gates of Splendor that she does not presume God was involved in her husband’s (Jim Elliot) death, despite all that has come from it. As she puts it, using Job as an example, the mystery of Job is answered with yet a bigger mystery — that of God himself.
We have no biblical data as to when or where or how God intervenes in the affairs of man. And yet, we need no answers.
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Eddie Mishoe says:
“I operate under this idea, namely, that we will never know in this life whether or not God answers our prayers.”
“We have no biblical data as to when or where or how God intervenes in the affairs of man.”
This seems a very deistic view on God.
I would argue that the Bible demonstrates cleary that God does answer prayer and that God does intervene in the affairs of men. The big problem (for us) is that he doesn’t do these things the way we want him to or the way we expect him to. Job’s unanswered question was “Why?” not “How?” or “Is God involved?” God is invovled, intimately, with us, its just that it is on his terms not ours.
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CMP,
I think this article opens up a discussion on a topic that isn’t much discussed. The theology of God’s “leading” or interaction with us in daily experience is something I have never heard taught in non-charismatic churches. I have wondered at this a few times since this a much more practical issue for most people than a lot of what we spend our time teaching. Most Christians view God as being invovled intimately with them on a daily basis, so they will naturally “see” him in their daily activities. Yet, very little teaching or discussion within the church is directed at how to correctly “see” God in our daily life.
I think most evangelicals are uneasy with developing a theology of God’s “leading” because the Scriptures do not provide much data on how this looks in the mundane, routine activities of life. We have kind of adopted the idea that God’s leading is some kind of inner sensed “feeling” or “impulse”. This leaves it up to the individual to interpret the experiences of daily life and assign them meaning or significance. Unfortunately, we often assign them meaning which they really don’t have. Couple this with our own (generally selfish) expectations and it can lead us to draw inferences on God’s activity or direction which is unwarranted.
Did your view of God’s “leading” or soveriegnty change as a result of your sister’s death? You seem to imply that it did, but I’m just not sure. If it did, how did it change?
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And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” Job 1:21 (ESV)
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I lost my daughter when she was 2 to illness. Although a Christian, this event took me down a long, dark road in which I questioned every belief I ever had about God. Was there really a God? Did He really intervene in man’s affairs? I even verbalized to God that I “didn’t like Him anymore”.
In the end though, I realized that I still believed. The faith that was left was small, but it was real. It was like Peter said – “Where else can I go? You alone have the words of life”.
As bad as that time in my life was, I am who I am in Christ today because I went through it.
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The following are some verses to consider from the only complete inerrant Truth, God’s holy word, that we have to live our lives in Christ.
Isaiah 55:8,9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
Proverbs 16:9 “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.”
Proverbs 16:25 “There is a way that seems right to man, but its end is the way to death.”
2 Peter 1:21 “For prophecy never had its origin in the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.”
Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Psalm 116:1-2 “I love the LORD, because He hears my voice and my supplications. Because He has inclined His ear to me, therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live.”
Daniel – Ch. 9:20-23
Daniel 10:12 “Then he said to me “Do not be afraid, Daniel, for from the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to your words.”
Hebrews 4:14-16 “Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus is the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and my find grace to help in time of need.”
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Just happened to me—again. It seemed as though a reconciliation had happened between me and some estranged (hate that word) family members. I had been praying about this for many years. Two of my cousins and I had a great visit a few days ago (hugs and kisses after about a 15 year absence), and I thought God had finally healed the situation. I was very happy. Then…I received a rude and judgmental e-mail today; apparently, their Christian love was a bit disingenuous. I was again reminded that I am consistently wrong when I try to build what I’ve come to call a “scenario” that maps out God’s direction based on my perception of His will. It seems God often has a loving laugh at my naiveté (sounds better than “ignorance”). But, also without fail, when I look back over my shoulder at my life it is literally impossible for me to see much of anything other than God’s love and mercy and faithfulness in the midst of wonderful and horrible times alike–despite my wrong choices, my wrongdoing and my sin! He seems to get me from point A to point B while I’m not looking. Romans 8:28 expounds such an amazing truth.
Thanks again, Michael, for another great article.
Richard
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Michael,
I, too, share this experience. My wife and I adopted a son from Ukraine a few years ago. It seemed like God led us in this. In fact, a week before we left, we realized our visas were going to expire a day before we left the states, and had to rush reapply for new ones. It seems if God wanted to stop us, there was a great opportunity. Anyway, we went, adopted a son, and were completely unprepared for all the emotional turmoil, attachment issues, etc – lots of hard, hard stuff. After about 5 years of horrible family life, we dissolved the adoption (another wrenching decision). So did God use all this in our lives? Yes, we matured and grew a lot, but what a way to get there. My wife still feels like she can no longer say when or where God is leading her. In the adoption, she felt so sure God was leading us, before we went. Now, in retrospect, she says no, she was leading us then, for selfish reasons.
So it feels like, as you said, we often cannot say how God leads. However, we can say, confidently, that he is still in control, and it is still for our good.
Thanks for your article.
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Micheal, Perhaps God changes direction in an effort to uproot the false anchors we tend to put down. The heart is deceitful and will gladly try to make false idols out of our experiences. Perhaps God changes direction to see if we’ll trust Him even when it’s confusing and looks like He’s doubling back on the trial. At the end, you pointed out the God has answered the call already with Christ’s death and resurrection. It reminds of a paragraph I copied into my bible from Larry Crab’s book, Inside-Out,
“Perhaps the anchor that enables people to weather life’s storms and grow through them is gratitude for what happened at the cross of Christ and passionate confidence in what will yet take place at His coming. Could it be that the only source of real stability in the present (a kind of stability that does not require the character-weakening mechanism of denial) is appreciation for the past and hope for the future?”
Thanks for the article, it’s where people live. Boyd
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God allows trials in our lives to test our faith. James 1:2-5
I felt very much lead by God to marry my husband. What followed was 21 incredibly difficult and painful years of marriage. Did I ask “Why, God? …Why this, after I prayed and prayed that you would provide for me a husband who loved you more than me…?” Yes, I did, I couldn’t make sense of it. But I stayed in the marriage because I believed it was the right thing to do. My faith was for a time, severely tested. I would say that I came to a true “crisis of faith” ….a fork in the road. One road was the painful one I was on, the other looked like freedom from oppression…. a whole new life. My faith was tested at that point. I knew that to choose the second path would be to turn away from all that I had ever believed about God…. I would be taking a path of disobedience…..not trusting God. Choosing to remain in the place of pain was what I knew to be right in God’s sight. I chose to remain, to trust God (even though I wanted to go the other way, and find relief). I chose to stay in the suffering situation.
Now, after 21 very long and painful years, my husband has come to be a true convert of the Lord Jesus. Finally, things are changing. I’m more than relieved. The transformation unfolding before my eyes is an amazing work of God.
God has taught me SO much through all of this. And, yes, He has greatly deepened my faith. God tested my faith for 21 years, with no hope in sight. The long endured trials are often the worst. We look for a way of relief, but sometimes it is not God’s intention for us to have relief from the pain, but rather to keep obeying Him….keeping our eyes on Jesus. That is what it is to trust Him.
We sometimes make the mistake of thinking that if God is good He will surely rescue us when we call out to Him. If He doesn’t, that either means He doesn’t love us, or He doesn’t hear us. Sometimes GOD LEADS US DOWN A HARD PATH, and He just wants us to keep walking with Him. Our faith will be tested. Is it real? Will we keep clinging to Him, or give up and wander away from Him?
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I resonate with Eddie’s statement, but would alter it a little:
“We have no biblical data as to when or where or how God will (or regularly) intervene(s) in the affairs of man. And yet, we need no answers.”
I.e., I would clarify that I accept that God has intervened and its reported and interpreted for us in Scripture–thus a theistic view, not deistic.
Jim W raises an important point that is not raised often enough, but perhaps its because we feel we must all find our own way in something so experiential: the theology of God’s leading.
I know what he says (below) is true of my non-charistmatic Evang. upbringing:
“”We have kind of adopted the idea that God’s leading is some kind of inner sensed “feeling” or “impulse”. This leaves it up to the individual to interpret the experiences of daily life and assign them meaning or significance. Unfortunately, we often assign them meaning which they really don’t have.”"
My sentiments and approach in this area have changed very much after experiencing and hearing of experience’s like CMP’s. And on that note, I think Eddie M’s comments are significant.
Feelings will almost always be involved to some extent in our human decision making process. But we really have no biblical means by which we can ascribe them to God with assurance until long after the events. (Hindsight is 20/20 as they say.) Paul even suggests that an angel from heaven might give us an ungodly message (Gal 1:8), so discerning visions and the supernatural is also something that is not simple to do. And feelings and impressions . . . qal veHomer!
So we should enjoy our feelings whenever we can, and we should be honest about them, but we should not ascribe them to God. We need to turn to scripture, seek wise advice, pray and decide in faith–feelings or not, “sure” or not. And in my view, looking for signs or feelings is a waste of time. And the idea “be still and wait” is not a biblical exhortation for every situation. In other verses we read “act like men”; and “do it now.” knock, seek, ask — and that’s not just at the door of heaven. So, with praying faith, WE must decide whether it’s time to act or wait. —–God has not suggested that he will send you a verified sign or feeling while you’re making the decision. Recognize that the decision is yours, and the responsibility for it is yours, not God’s.—– And, irritating as it may seem, well over half the time, God does not provide us with all the details we’d like/want/need to make the best decision. So we decide in faith (i.e. real faith) and trust in God’s mercy and goodness.
For quite a while after I came to see that God doesn’t signal to us that certain feelings and impulses are from him and should be followed (and doesn’t regularly use Urim and Thummim anymore), I had to preach this to myself.
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To me, I don’t think we are meant to get any further than Abraham, who “went out, not knowing where he was going.” When preaching on God’s will, I have sometimes used the illustration of putting out to sea in a small boat. One direction seems the same as any direction. But you can look back and see by your wake where you have come from. Perhaps it is only from the perspective of old age and a long walk with Him that we ‘see’ how He has led us. Agree wholeheartedly with the resurrection being the ground of our faith.
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There are certainly some great testimonies here.
My own was to lose 7 babies to stillbirth or miscarriage before I had a live one. This went on for 16 years of marriage, and as Susan pointed out it was a heartbreaking, and severe test for me, because I had always wanted children so much.
I remember wondering so often why God let women who were obviously terrible mothers have one child after another, and then not raise them properly. To this day I have never figured out why I had to go through that particular kind of pain, especially since my marriage didn’t survive after our beloved daughter, who is now 29, was born. However, I know it that it certainly gave me a deeper compassion for the trials others go through and a deeper respect for God’s ultimate authority in our lives, when it was all said and done.
I wonder if part of the problem is that some of us have been taught that God is strictly a God of love and we are often given a view of Him as only a Santa Claus figure, to whom we just present our wish lists for His stamp of approval. I personally have had to totally unlearn that point of view, and ultimately found a church who teaches a more realistic view of God.
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A clarification seems in order:
Theism is a “system which accepts a transcendent and personal God who not only created but also preserves and governs the world, the contingency of which does not exclude miracles and the exercise of human freedom.” (www.stsams.org/dictionary.html)
Deism is the belief that “God exists but is not involved in the world. It maintains that God created all things and set the universe in motion and is no longer involved in its operation.” (http://www.spiritrestoration.org/Theological_Terms...)
Once you get past the idea of a God who created the universe, Theism and Deism go separate ways.
The MAIN aspects of God’s intervention is the personal appearances of Christ in the OT, the oral revelation he gave in the OT, the prophets and their miracles, the fulfilled prophesies, etc. Of course the MAIN intervention of the highest of magnitudes is the Life and Death of Christ and the Messianic Sign Gifts passed on to the Apostles.
J. – I would say likewise that God intervenes, but how often is not revealed in Scripture. To assign it a “frequency” would be sheer speculation or wishful thinking. That is why I stated God’s ‘frequency’ of intervention is just plain unknown to us. Thus, God’s intervention may be far more than you allow, but may equally be far less than you suggest.
Hope this clarifies my earlier point.
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Or should we simply accept more of a rather severe, Old Testament God? A somewhat colder universe? As the Old Testament seems to in fact. One which seems to correspond more in fact, to the realities of Nature.
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IT’S OPPOSITE DAY
To much experience with this post. I came to terms many years ago that God’s MO does not compute with mine. In my minds eye today, everyday is opposite day. If man thinks this or that, God is on the opposing side. There is some gray area to this concept that I have, but I am confident and bank on God always moving the opposite direction. In addition to experience, scripture is my greatest support for my conclusion. Many years ago I got tired of being disappointed by the outcome of events. Now I hardly ever do, because I trust him and know he is good. So good.
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This is a difficult topic for all the obvious reasons – and well described, Michael. We all have stories . . .
My 7 yo daughter prayed for one of her favorite teachers for 6 months. (She was in a Christian school – the teacher was a lovely young woman with a 1 yo of her own – along with other kids.) She had leukemia. The birth of her last child put her in remission for a while, but we knew she was not out of the woods. My daily ritual with my daughter at bedtime was to pray for her – she always remembered, even if I didn’t. Every night, along with many at that school and church, we prayed for 6 months. My wife and I realized she might have a rough go of it when she had a marrow transplant. As my wife noted, if things don’t change in 6 weeks, it is likely it did not take.
It didn’t. We were all together in church on Sun AM. (It was Easter, so being in the same service was de rigeur, though not usual at that church.) The announcement of her passing came in a strangely succinct fashion. I hear my wife inhale sharply; my older daughter wept quietly. We may have been the only people in the row that heard it the way we did. It seemed a strangely ironic thing – both comforting in its truth and yet distressing in its bluntness – that this announcement came on Easter Morning. Hope . . . and hope dashed.
My younger daughter was in my lap, drawing on some paper – common enough. Her drawing of a rainbow strangely turned to drawing a headstone. Above it why wrote “Why?” And then she looked into my face. As is true so often, I could only say, “I don’t know.” Even today, I can only remember her look through a mist.
It was not that *I* needed answers for the death of an individual so many cared about. I had seen that on several occasions, and I know the pain of hard losses. (Ministering and teaching in an academic environment does not protect from those things – maybe just the opposite.) Perhaps losing close parents and friends will do that.
What caused me to struggle, and does to this day, was that my 7 y.o. daughter had to experience death and disappointment with God as a dashing of hope at such a young age. *I* was not ready to deal with her child-like faith in God being dashed so early in her life. I could have wished for more time before some of the realities of a fallen world would come clear to my daughter . . . too young to get it.
I think we all get boxed around when it comes to sensing God’s will, and then being disappointed. I believe most of the time I can handle my own disappointments, including with God; but seeing one so young have a fragile child-like faith get snapped . . . probably hurt me more than it did her.
The rest of the story: I baptized her two months ago at our church (she asked me to do so); and I find her to be a clear-eyed individuals about the hard elements of life – even at 15. But the emotion of watching her learn a hard lesson of pursuing God and getting . . . death . . . still wells…
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Let’s add my testimony to the list.
I can thoroughly sympathize. It helps somewhat to know my christian experience isn’t unique (just like everyone elses) but is actually something that God lets many of us experience. It doesn’t help that most testimonies i hear are about answered prayer and miracles happening to other people in everyday life. I hear about how God did this or that for their life. What about mine? What about me?
It’s not that i haven’t had answered prayer before (none of which were answered the way i expected) but that they happen (at least the ones i notice) far too few and too long in between.
Was it because i wasn’t “spiritual” enough? Wasn’t I close enough to God for him to actively take a personal interest in my life? Possibly. At least God taught me it has nothing to do with how good or bad people were.
My theology makes me somewhat of a panentheist in that i believe God actively holds everything together each and every moment. This influences my belief in miracles where i see it as “natural” and not contraventions of what is “natural”. Thus my fault may be that i expect more miracles than i should. I expect them to happen more often and expect to see “coincidences” happen a lot.
I can’t really complain. Looking back, i know for a fact that things would have been worse for me if i had MY way each point where i asked God for something to happen. You’d think at this point that i’d have learned to trust God for everything.
One thing i’m still learning and even knowing it doesn’t help. Like the apostles, most people, like me, have a density problem. I’m a bit hardheaded and what i need aren’t miracles. I just need to learn to trust God a bit more. The evidence for his care is there. I’m just being selective in what i want to use as a basis for belief. T_T
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My wife and I had a miscarriage a few years back, it was the most painful thing I ever experienced. After this period my job was moved to another state and I have never recovered the position I once had. These events led me through many years of bitterness and questioning, somehow I think – now that the bitterness and pain is gone that it was all for a reason. Exactly what reason I do not know, but it was all good, and God is good.
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Yes, I agree it is very dangerous to ground our faith on our experiences rather than on the Ressurection of Christ.
Maybe in illustration with C.S.Lewis, I can say that, perhaps, he loved his wife more than the Lord. That’s just a speculation.
An in the case with dogs, I think that the Lord knows exactly what and when to give and take away from us.
As you said, we are to anchor in ressuresction of Christ. If that is doesn’t brighten up our day, I dare to say, what will?
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Michael,
Very poetly labeling “God sightings” as anchors.
I’m one who believes that for whatever reason those actually were “God sightings”. Your analogy to the anchor serves a great purpose in the dialogue. For anyone who knows the least bit about boating or sea fare, we know that the anchor is not meant to be a permanent fix. It is a temporary holding in place.
Allow those anchors to be dropped, but also allow God to raise them and take us to where He wills.
Good anaolgy
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Michael, I raise my coffee cup to you in admiration. Maybe it’s just where I’m at spiritually myself at the moment, but this really struck me deeply. It’s all about Jesus and his resurrection, isn’t it. You keep preaching the Word, brother.
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Well done Michael. An excellent counter to the popular Christian mystical gnosticism. His thoughts are not our thoughts, let us seek Him in His Word and let Him teach us about Him. It’s really hard to outline an infinite God.
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It might be better stated that the resurrection is *evidence* of his being Lord rather than the reason that he is Lord (consider Php 2:5-11 and Acts 17:31).
Nevertheless, a good point made.
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Powerful post and comments. I’m blessed, thank you all
I went right because I assumed it was the only way to do God’s will for me. But I am realizing that it’s the world’s way, not God’s, and He actually wants me to go left. The process, the road, is equally important. Thankfully He is clearing that up — not as immediately as I would have wanted, but my faith in Him grew deeper than if everything was simple and easy.
Echoing Jim W.: “God is involved, intimately, with us, its just that it is on his terms not ours.”
I agree with j that “we should not ascribe [feelings] to God,” but there are times when He chooses to reveal Himself personally, even in voices and visions. Still we cannot fully understand Him; thankfully He knows this. Since the Word Himself was made flesh and dwelt among us, we can trust Him to stay with us and lead us back every time we go astray.
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It could have been better if the title is, “When you go left while God is right.” This way, the idea is much better expressed in two levels.
Bro. Michael (if i would be allowed to call him so) made two great points here: (1) God’s ways are mysterious but definitely always right. We might not understand them but God always makes sure we do in the end. E.g., the proto-gospel that one man will redeem the race of Adam from the original sin and the entire laws and prophets of the Scripture (OT), culminated and fulfilled in Jesus Christ — the God-Man; (2) We tend to understand as we grow and experience how our Father cares for us with infinite Justice and Mercy — indeed THE infinite Good and our ultimate Goal; (3) Understanding God’s ways by our own view (mixing World-view with God-view) is dangerous.
I think it would be the same for the Church (as personified as Bride in Revelation to John of Patmos, and explained in parable by Christ himself) to learn from experience, and hence Church-history. That within the Church, there are personalities and ideas that go “left” away from the “right” direction that God has directed the Church outset. This we can see from letters of great saints such as St. Jerome to Damasus for example during the 4th century. Hence, mixing mistakes of Church’s human leaders, in political structures and with management of the House of God together with the idea of keeping and teaching/elaborating/clarifying the original faith that was once and for all handed down and revealed through the life and teachings of and in Christ intimately witnessed by the chosen Apostles, is a dangerous task — indeed the work of the Liar and Devil.
More often than not, we feel that the visible Church (THE source/foundation of Truth) have gone astray when God already promised her otherwise under the guidance of the Holy Spirit. In fact, historically, the Holy Spirit promised descended upon the Apostles and Christ’s mother and guided the growth of the Church since starting with the inclusion of the Gentiles, not originally or directly taught by Jesus — a fact that the Apostles cannot bear during the time Jesus was with them.
The fact is, when God designed the Church (e.g. Sacraments: “do this in remembrance of me,” “as often as you do this, you proclaim His death and resurrection,” “what God has put together, no man shall separate,” and many others); nobody should change that. What God has made good, nobody should make it bad. Jesus formed the Church from men (“i will make you fishers of men”) and breath unto them the Breath of Life (“receive the Holy Spirit”) just as God formed Man out of the dust of the Earth and breath unto him the breath of life and was originally good.
C.S. Lewis as an example is a good one. We should perhaps remember that he eventually converted to Anglicanism (not other denomination), the closest that he could get to the original Christian culture as intended by God — swaying about…
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I will trust Him.
I will put my son on the altar or whatever my current affection or request. Sometimes He takes my son away and sometimes He returns him to me alive. I will trust Him either way. God demands to know where we stand regardless of any outcome. To live is Christ, to die is gain. Live a life at risk. God is in control. Give all your expectations to Him. Sell out.
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Lord, what You will let it be so
Where You will there we will go
What is Your will help us to know
Lord, when You will the time is right
In You there’s joy in strife
For Your will I’ll give my life
To ease Your burden brings no pain
To forego all for You is gain
As long as I in You remain
REFRAIN:
Because You will it, it is best
Because You will it, we are blest
Till in Your hands our hearts find rest
Till in Your hands our hearts find rest
This is related to the prayer of Father Rupert Mayer (Munich, Germany): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rupert_Mayer
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Great post, Geekborj.
Perhaps we should think in terms of “Better get right, or get left…because the Lord’s coming back for you”. In the words of a song that used to be around some years back.
What is the name of the beautiful song you posted?
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This beautiful song is originally a prayer by Blessed Rupert Mayer (Jesuit priest in Munich during the Third Reich) translated to English as doxology. It is now known as “Pater-Rupert-Mayer-Gebet” and goes:
Herr, wie Du willst, so will ich geh’n,
Und wie Du willst, soll mir gescheh’n.
Hilf Deinen Willen nur versteh’n.
Herr, wann Du willst, dann ist es Zeit,
Und wann Du willst, bin ich bereit.
Heut und in alle Ewigkeit.
Herr, was Du willst, das nehm’ ich hin,
Und was Du willst, ist mir Gewinn.
Genug, dass ich Dein Eigen bin.
Herr, weil Du’s willst, d’rum ist es gut,
Und weil Du’s willst, d’rum hab’ ich Mut.
Mein Herz in Deinen Händen ruht.
The prayer above is copied from http://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rupert_Mayer. They still regularly pray this in his original Church in Munich, now also includes a museum of his works.
Cheers and all glory to God!
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[...] – Michael Patton [...]
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I would have titled this when God goes right instead of left because the right hand in the bible represents righteousness through the gospel of Jesus Christ.
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