There have been times too numerable to count where it seems that I have gone one way suspecting the Lord was heading in the same direction only to find out the often heart-breaking reality that God is going a different direction.

As Christians, like anyone else, we seek to confirm our worldview (our belief system) in our experiences. I do. I am constantly looking for events—for “God-sightings”—in my walk that evidence what I already believe. Sometimes we become reliant on such events to the point where the event itself becomes the grounds or anchor to our faith. While this is understandable, it is very dangerous.

C.S. Lewis Story

I am haunted by the words of C.S. Lewis in his A Grief Observed, (loosely quoted) “It is not as though I have quit believing in God, it is that I have come to the point where I say, ‘So God, this is who you really are.’”

Let me back up.

In 1956, at the age of 58, Lewis married Joy Gresham. This was at first a benevolent legal marriage due to Gresham’s need for British citizenship. However, they both fell in love. After finding out that Gresham had contracted terminal bone cancer, they sought a Christian marriage. In prayerful hope they lived together as husband and wife. The cancer went into remission and they praised God for the unexpected. God had done something wonderful. An anchor in their experience. It was a reason to shout praises to God for his lovingkindness.

However . . .

The remission was short lived. Just three years after their hospital bedside wedding ceremony, Joy’s life was taken by the cancer. One year later Lewis writes the words above in one of his most profound and introspective works, A Grief Observed. The praise that he gave to God was turned into confused bitterness for a time. So confused that he wrote those terrible words, “It is not as though I have quit believing in God, it is that I have come to the point where I say, ‘So God, this is who you really are.”

A personal illustration

I often reflect on the journey of my sister’s death. The specific point in that journey has to do with a “message” that we got from God that turned out to be misunderstood, like that of the cancer’s remission in the life of Lewis. To make a long story short, my sister was very suicidal for about two years. She lived close to me in Frisco, so when there was a problem, it was up to me to come to the rescue. I had already had to break her door down at home and rush her to the hospital because of an overdose on sleeping pills, take her kicking and screaming to the local psych hospital to admit her twice, and travel to her house 16 other times in search of her when she had gone silent. One time, we could not find her anywhere. She was not at home or at work. I did not know what to do as I knew that this particular day was not a good day for her. We knew that she was very suicidal. I got in my car and started looking for her. In short, I found her. It was nothing less than a miracle as I randomly pulled into a hotel off the highway. I found her in a room with a six pack and a gun. I stopped her. 

In the middle of this tragic situation, my family and I thought that God was answering our prayers which pleaded for her life. We had this “divine” comfort that she was not going to die. Otherwise, how do we explain such a miracle?

Well, we were going right and God was going left. Despite the praise (which, looking back, seems like some sort of arm twisting way to gain divine assurance), Angie did take her life three months later in a different hotel room which I could not find.

On a less tragic note

Last week Mimi’s (Kristie’s mom) dog died. My girls loved this dog. They cried and cried and asked me why God would take the dog away. 

Let me back up again… 

Katelynn, my oldest daughter (10), was praying that the dog be found. There was a pack of strays outside and the dog ran out after them to protect, according to Katelynn, Kylee, my 9-year-old. He (our dog) does not weigh more than ten pounds so it was a very brave thing to do. The dog went missing. Last time this happened three years ago with Mimi’s other dog, it was killed. We thought the worst.

However, Katelynn called me at work in great joy, “Daddy!!! Daddy!!! They found Squirt [the dog's name]. I prayed and prayed and they found him!!! I asked everyone to pray on Facebook and we found him!!!” She was so excited and I was pleased that God had given her this experience. However, remembering God’s MO, my excitement was peppered with hesitation.

Three hours later, Katelynn called crying bitterly. “He’s dead. He’s dead. Squirt is dead!!!” It seems that the stray dogs had done too much damage and the vet had to put Squirt to sleep. Katelynn was going right and God was going left.

Act Two

The very next day, I get another phone call. Very excited this time. “Daddy, daddy!!! Guess what!!!!! We fount Nuke!! We found Nuke!!” Nuke was the dog I told you about earlier that had been supposedly killed three years earlier. “We were just driving down the road to Mimi’s house and there he was, walking down the road.”

Where had this dog been for three years? Why did he show up the day after Squirt died? God? What was he saying? Not really sure, but this is too weird for it to be a coincidence. I was more than tempted to lay this down as a potential “God sighting.” In fact, I posted it on Facebook. Forget the fact that I did not know what this meant, it was a great gift to my children. They were so excited…

Don’t you get too excited . . . God is going left.

The next day, Kristie’s mom discovered something. Although the dog was identical to the dog that was lost three years ago, it was not spayed. Nuke was. It was not the dog we thought it was. God was not present . . . at least in the way we thought. Devastated once again, this small anchor was pulled to the surface.

I could tell many more stories, but maybe these will suffice as illustrations about how we need to be very careful about letting our experiences be the anchors of our faith. I could also tell stories about how I went right and God was there but I don’t want to right now. As beneficial as that would be, I want to talk about those times when we misunderstand what God is doing and purchase too much equity in that particular stock.

In the end, I have learned that the anchor to my faith is the resurrection of Christ. Christ is not Lord because he rescues people from cancer, saves the depressed, or brings dogs back to life. He is Lord because Christ is risen. It is that simple. I will have many other anchors and so will you. But none of them compares to the anchor that is the resurrection of Christ. Hold on to those other anchors loosely, knowing that God is involved and can be praised in all things, but not necessarily in our interpretation of all things.

The lyrics to The Frey’s song “You Found Me” come to mind. In a Psalmist-like rendering of confusion, the words spoken to the Lord (with which we can all identify) ring loudly.

“Where were you when everything was falling apart?
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang
And all I needed was a call that never came”

But the call had already come. Two-thousand years ago on a cross on a hill and in an empty tomb. It was and is a call made to all of us.

How about you? Are there any times when you have gone right and God was going left? Please share.

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Romans Bible study taught by C. Michael Patton all summer. Join us live online or onsite. created by Reclaiming the Mind Ministries!