Michael,

thanks for this article. I’m new to ‘Pen and Parchment’ but am really enjoying poking around… I think these forums are a great service and the articles are always well written and well thought out.

I’m a lay person who was (at one time) ambitious to attend seminary. I’ve had a chance to browse some of the free theology video content online, and to engage with the intelligent and mature people who post here. I think my views on Christian Higher Ed. and on the theological issues of interpretation will have a chance to mature here.

Like others, I identify strongly with the content of this article and admire it’s candor.

Anyway, thanks and take care.

In my world, I’m not allowed your kind of–wonderful!–authenticity. I ignore this problem, of course, because I’m a say-what-you-mean-and-mean-what-you-say-kinda guy. But, then I do have to live with the consequences of honesty:) Just to let you know you have another brother in Angst, here’s the exact e-mail I sent late last night to dear friend (and one of God’s true gifts to world):

“Thank you, Thank you, Lord for all the pain and frustration and confusion in my life, so that I can know such excruciating joy in Your presence! And thank you for the non-Christian friends in my life who too often put me and my Christian family to shame by their love!
Just had to praise Him…before someone who may have better access to His ear!
Love, Richard”

Perhaps, Michael, God puts you through such “stuff”, because He loves me more than you. After all, He did send me to this article today!
Thank you!
Richard

mike, catching up on your blogs and dude, you always encourage me! i am amazed at all you’ve been through and are still facing, yet i see his light in you, even more brightly now – praise god! just need to pray more for you and the fam, cmp. got my word on that. i love what he’s doing through you-he’s encouraging so many through your efforts. fish and loaves in his hands. the old word is the new word….and it restores our souls! pray for me and i’ll pray for you! oh yeah, ou sux……had to bring you down a little. love you, bro! you are well-missed at the home depot on the prairie. peace of christ to you

It broke my heart to read what you are going through. I know what it’s like to suffer.
Recently I heard John Piper talking about the enormous sufferings of John Calvin. We can be encouraged that our labor amidst the pain does make a difference. In any case, without pain, we will have nothing to compare our happiness to. For what then will we thank God?

Praying!

When i said, “In the grand scheme of things this makes no difference,” i was referring to my opinion, not what you’re doing, if that wasn’t obvious by context. I’m trying to learn to communicate full thoughts in 140 characters or less and failing frequently.

Duane, I totally know how you feel. In fact, I’ve felt that way before. For about ten years, frankly.

Here’s something to think about: Our salvation is not rooted in our emotions or our feelings. One of the things you could be experienceing is simply a dark night of the soul. A period of drought, that, well, sucks.

But this drought doesn’t change the fact of your salvation. We are saved through Christ and made alive through him. That’s a promise the Bible firmly, repeatedly makes. And it makes that promise so concrete so when our feelings and emotions overwhelms us–whether because of the world, flesh or the devil–the truth still stands.

My advice to you is lay yourself out before God and plead for his help. Ask what’s going on. And listen.

What you might hear is him say that the reason you’re in this drought is because of something he asked you to do a long time ago…but you ignored.

Make sure that’s not the case. Disobedience, no matter how subtle, will deaden our sense of God.

You are at a period of examining your faith. I have no doubt about that. Examining your faith is biblical. Paul says to test it, to see that we are in the faith.

I know this because I spent ten years feeling the way you do now. In the end what I discovered was that while I’d made a confession of faith way back when, I’d never surrendered my heart…

I exhibited all the typical religious paraphernalia on the outside. On the inside I was viciously against God.

Two books that helped me crawl out of this hole was MacArthur’s Hard to Believe. And also The Gospel According to Jesus.

Naturally I also made a my way through the New Testament. Duane, you can be sure of you salvation. You CAN have joy in God. But obedience is the key. Make sure you’re straight with him.

Know this: I share this not to discourage you but to encourage you to fight for your faith. I share this with you with immense love for you and your soul, brother. Hang in there. I want to rejoice with you one day.

Lately, I have experienced the following emotions and feelings.

1. I’m sick of church & fellow Christians and their corny jokes.
2. The Bible seems more like a World History book.
3. I’m Sick of reading Christian blogs & political blogs.
4. I’m tired of living in Texas.
5. Prayer makes no difference in my life or the life of the church.
6. I could go on but why depress you.

Dear Don,

Wear shorts! Lots of people with imperfect legs DO.
My daughter has Cerebral Palsy…and has had extensive surgery which has left deep scars down the back of her calves. For the past two summers she has refused to wear shorts, in fact, she wears a sweater or a jacket every day…even though it is July in Southern California. She hides behind her clothing because she is hyper-conscious of her ‘imperfect’ body. In summers past she got over this and was able to wear shorts and T-shirts. I wish she would now. We have no air conditioning….

And Don, I’m so sad to hear of your current grief! I would be a total basket case if either of my parents died….talk about feeling lost. I’m sure you are feeling engulfed with loneliness …and even despair, right now. I went through a lot of agonizing years of that in an extremely painful marriage…with NO end in sight. Twenty-one years, to be exact….until God’s Spirit came to convict my husband of his sin (he had always thought he was a Christian). My husband came to know Jesus as his Lord and Savior one year ago. God is working to transform his heart (and mine). I’m glad that I stuck it out through all that I went through…only by God’s grace. There were times when I was barely making it. My husband was the only enemy I’ve ever had in life…and I had to live with him. The pain I endured for all of those years, is more than anyone can understand unless they’ve experienced the same. I now can look back at who I used to be, and see how God used 21 painful, lonely years to refine me…to cut some of the distracting crap out of my life and hone me to His purposes for me. I’ve found that fulfilling His purposes for me gives me the greatest joy and satisfaction in life. I’m still easily distracted, but I know that God loves me in spite of this…and He loves you too, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. I hope that you will read the Psalms and let them be your lament before God…..as they were for David. Cry out to Him, Don. Don’t give up!
You will be in my prayers today.

Susan

Michael, you have an editor? How do I get me one of those