Nine Things I Struggle With
1. I am judgmental about not being judgmental. What is up with that? Does that make any sense?
2. I am compulsive in everything. This is my strength and weakness, but I wish that I could just turn it off when I need to.
3. No matter how many times the Lord comes through, I am always anticipating the worst. I think this is because of my sister and my mother.
4. I talk down to my wife and it is a habit that is so hard to break. I am sorry Kristie.
5. My back is always hurt these days. When your back is bad or goes out, it effects everything! (Did I say everything?)
6. I am a people pleaser. I think it is fine to want people to like you, but it is really hard for me to say the hard thing when it needs to be said. You know . . . “the wounds of an friend thing.” I am like David. I have such a bad past that don’t feel qualified to shoot straight with people. But the irony is . . . see #1 and #4.
7. I, so often, want to run off and hide from my responsibilities. I identify with Homer Simpson who, on the day of his exam which he had not studied for, said “Its okay. I am just going to hide underneath these coats and everything will be alright.”
8. I feel so inadequate to deal with people emotionally. I am just not there. I am not very tender at all. Oblivious and dismissive. Those are good words to describe me emotionally many times. This affects so much. Boy, I used to get it from my sisters and mom about this. Now I can see it effecting my girls. But, this may be a man problem.
9. I cannot fix people’s problems and I don’t know how to handle it (see #7). I could not fix Angie and now I can’t fix my mother or father. Why is there such longevity in struggles? Haven’t we learned what we need to learn? I am just so tired when I go there. (And tomorrow is my day with mom).
That is all I can think of now.
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humanitas remedium on 01 May 2009 at 2:01 am #
Thanks for the honesty. This was a great reminder as to what I am and what I hope to become in Jesus as he changes me. I wish changing was as easy as writing it all out. I am with you on #1 and 9.
Leslie on 01 May 2009 at 3:01 am #
Michael, I am not saying this to please you, but I too struggle with ALL the points you have enlisted. I lost my Mother to heart disease 17 years ago, and now for the past 8 years my father and sister practically won’t relate to me. Getting though to them is like running into a wall.
Truth Unites... and Divides on 01 May 2009 at 6:36 am #
Thanks for fessing up to #1 and #6.
Kara Kittle on 01 May 2009 at 8:08 am #
CMP,
Does this go along with your blog on being a manipulator? I think you might be learning as you get older. Sometimes people are more important than what our church thinks of us or demands of us.
And #8, no it’s not a man problem. I do notice you also listed in the other blog you are an egalitarian. Are you egalitarian because it compliments your personality, or because it justifies your personality quirks?
And no, your past is not so bad that you can’t tell people like it is. If everyone who had a bad past could not teach…then 75% of Christianity would be silent.
But I think #4, you didn’t really have to confess that one to us, perhaps Kristie would like to hear that one alone with you.
It seems you’re coming over to the dark side of caring about people…recognition is always the first step.
EricW on 01 May 2009 at 8:17 am #
CMP:
I was referred to this article from another blog:
Intro:
This is perhaps my favorite statement of the Gospel that I’ve every written. The best sermons should preach to yourself. The Luther quote at the end still rocks me. I’ve been working on this to make it “book friendly,” and I wanted to share it with the IM audience again. If you’re a “good Christian,” go do something else. If you are a mess, this is my gift to you. From 2004 I think.
http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/imonk-101-when-i-am-weak-why-we-must-embrace-our-brokenness-and-never-be-good-christians
The comments esp. read like you and I and all of us here are in good company.
FYI, the referring article was this one: http://mikesstudies.blogspot.com/2009/04/maybe-best-blog-article-ever.html
Cadis on 01 May 2009 at 9:19 am #
Surely you could have come up with one more thing to make for an even 10…what’s wrong with you!
Jugulum on 01 May 2009 at 9:58 am #
Yep. It’s the universal hypocrisy of self-righteousness.
“Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things.” Romans 2:1
Crazyupstart on 01 May 2009 at 10:36 am #
I think #6 is a struggle for any person in ministry. It’s something that most people need to overcome to be able to rightly admonish wrong doing/thinking in the church. I think it stems from the good idea that we are to develop a relationship with someone before we have the right to hammer them. Some….no….many Christians could use a good trout slapping from time to time to re-align their thinking in a more heavenward direction. But then relational thinking often leads to never applying the “trout of truth” because we don’t want to jeopardize the relationship, or worse, how they think of us as a leader or friend.
I think this also runs in line with the kind of people (like me, on all of this) who just can’t say “No!” We feel somehow that we are letting down the ministry if we truthfully say that we can’t be involved with “this or that” opportunity. The balance of ministry vs. sanity is especially hard for people rearing a young family. All to often it is the first ministry of the home that ends up lacking for the sake of the church.
Thanks to some discussion on Theologica and of course with my wife’s enthusiastic approval, I have one and only one resolution for the year 2009. The Roosevelt / Walters resolution: “Speak softly, and carry a large Trout.”
I have applied this several times already this year, and wow, it’s so freeing
Maybe a little off subject, but there’s that.
Kara Kittle on 01 May 2009 at 1:36 pm #
CMP,
You aren’t called to do #9, that’s what God does. You can pray for them, but you can’t fix their problems.
Your only responsibility is to tell them God loves them, and then pray for them. We can’t go ramming down doors people are holding close.
Dr_Mike on 01 May 2009 at 2:05 pm #
Michael:
You seem to be remarkably human. Welcome!
Or, as I tell clients often, you’re not as screwed up as you think you are. You’re just sinful and in need of daily salvation.
Me, too.
Dr_Mike on 01 May 2009 at 2:07 pm #
Oh, and as far as #9 goes, you could become a Christian counselor like me.
You still won’t know how to fix people but you’ll get paid for being stupid! Not much, but you will get paid.
Chris Skiles on 01 May 2009 at 3:54 pm #
CMP, I’m with you on 2 & 3. And I do so appreciate your honesty. I think we need more transparency in the body of Christ.
Oh, and BTW I’m with you on #8 as well.
Stan Hankins on 01 May 2009 at 5:24 pm #
Michael, brother you are NOT alone!! I struggle with some of those things and many other things. Sometimes I get frustrated with my slowness in becomining like Jesus. Some of the things I struggle with have been life long battles.
Adrian Rogers said once ( and I wrote this in my bible) ” Your weakness in life is an asset. It keeps you dependant on the Spirit”
Our Lord would deliver us from all struggles I think if He could trust us not to become proud. But alas, He can’t trust us!!
This is a great site. God bless you!
EricW on 01 May 2009 at 7:46 pm #
I was referred to the following article from another blog. The intro reads:
This is perhaps my favorite statement of the Gospel that I’ve every written. The best sermons should preach to yourself. The Luther quote at the end still rocks me. I’ve been working on this to make it “book friendly,” and I wanted to share it with the IM audience again. If you’re a “good Christian,” go do something else. If you are a mess, this is my gift to you. From 2004 I think.
http://www.internetmonk.com/archive/imonk-101-when-i-am-weak-why-we-must-embrace-our-brokenness-and-never-be-good-christians
The comments esp. to this essay read like you and I and all of us here are in good company.
FYI, the referring article was this one:
mikesstudies.blogspot.com/2009/04/maybe-best-blog-article-ever.html
Jerry Brown on 01 May 2009 at 9:45 pm #
I constantly tear myself up for #8. Aren’t we supposed to strive to be more Christ-like? Was he dismissive and oblivious? So I pray every day to live that day in love. Then I miss out on the not-so-subtle cues from my spouse, or I am curt with someone. It’s a nasty cycle. But, Michael, we know it, and we keep striving to do something about it. I can tell you that before my rebirth, I didn’t care what effect I had. So, I suppose it’s a small victory in a sense.
Rick+ on 02 May 2009 at 11:29 am #
I could have made this same list. What I do is try to ask myself, “Where is God in this?”
Rex on 02 May 2009 at 11:36 am #
Michael, we must be twins. I hear you bro. May Christ continue to make us alive with him.
Michael L on 04 May 2009 at 11:37 am #
Thanks for sharing. No more comment needed
In Him
Mick