The flip of the spontaneous crying for no reason is the feeling as though I could cry but I cannot.

I just never thought that it would come to this point in my life. Bizarre, but true. I’m married to a psychotherapist and have two wonderful little kids, but feel like I have no one that I can talk to… Perhaps that’s the value of friendship and prayer…

In any case, I know this is an old post, but maybe this will get back to you and you can know that someone else also experiences the same problem.

-Joe

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It seems to me that Satan attack’s us all, christian or not. I also learned that there are prime times when he attacks.
When we are growing spiritually.
We we envade enemy territory.
When we expose Satan for who he really is.
When we repent and attempt to turn from sin.
When God is preparing us for a great work for His glory.

Seems to me you are doing at least a few of the above things right now. I suspect you have a target on your back. If we recognize it for what it is then we can deal with it; Ephesians 6:10-12.

Oh and didn’t Paul make tents at one time to help make ends meet?

You are in my prayers…

Peace

I can certainly relate to what you are experiencing. I have in the past two years had days where I would just cry for extended periods of time for no clear reason. This is highly unusual given I an not an emotional person. But someone suggested to me that I go to the Psalms and read until one just jumped out from the Lord that seemed to answer the cry of my heart. It has really helped. The other suggestion that I received was to offer a sacrifice of praise to God during those times that I could not do otherwise. David cried quite a bit, if you read the Psalms, so it is nothing to be ashamed of. I certainly believe in my case that God was trying to get my attention / to use me in ways for intercession that I might not have been as responsive in “normal situations.”

Please DO NOT delete this post. Many, many people can relate to your experience, and your confession (given your credibility) really helps others. Plus, as Paul continually says we are a body and we are called to “bear each other’s burdens.” It has helped me to respond to your post.

But I would also take the advice of others and go see a doctor. I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression in the middle of my Ph.D. program at the University of Kansas. I have been on medication off and on ever sense. When I take my medicine – Effexor – and it takes effect, then I am “normal” with normal ups and downs. When I do not take it, then the lows are abnormally low and life becomes grey and drab. Effexor, and other medicines like it, are serotonin reuptake inhibitors, which correct a chemical imbalance in the brain. They are NOT a drug in the sense of a stimulant or depressant, and take a while to start working. Check out this explanation (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selective_ serotonin_reuptake_inhibitor)

I am including this because I believe I suffered needlessly for years, and there may be many others out there that are needlessly suffering as well. In the meantime, I will certainly be praying for you and your family:) God is Good all the time, and he works ALL things together for Good to those who are called. We may not understand why things happen now, but it will all make sense in eternity!!!!

Cary

I probably have a lot less insight to offer than most of your other respondents, but I feel so sympathetic to your expressions that I can’t help but share.

I am about your age and the sole provider for my family. A few years ago, I left a high-paying job to start a new venture. My business is growing but not yet replacing the income I once had. I make a good living but I am constantly worried about next month. I am alone in my business. I don’t have a partner and no key employees with whom I can share my burdens. I can’t lean on my wife as she is already stressed enough about next month’s bills and to tell her that I am worried would crush her. So, I tell her everything will be alright and God will provide.

God has been very gracious and, despite some close calls, He has met all of our needs. I am in debt and am constantly having surprise expenses – like the birth of my daughter this year sans insurance – $14K surprise.

My point in all of this is that I think you are feeling the overwhlming burden of being alone. I know that you know God and recognize the relationship and His sovereignty. But, I get the feeling that you don’t have anyone to lean on with the many burdens you are struggling through.

A year ago, I got a book about depression after getting feedback from friends and family. In the book, there were 5 questions and if you answered yes to 2 or 3 of them, then you were (textbook) suffering depression. I got 4.5 out of 5. I saw a counselor and he recommended medication. Medication was too expensive so I sought alternatives. Long story short, I came to realize that I was struggling with trying to handle everything by myself. While I’ve not been able to find a close companion to lean on, I have found it useful to seek support from others, pray about it, and ask God to use it to meet my needs. It helps. My problems are as big as ever, but I feel more in control of my emotions and more willing to reach out when they are getting the best of me.

I think Dr. Mike had some of the best insight and I would recommend you find someone (licensed Christian counselor) to talk things through. Prayer – yours and intercessory from your supporters – are vitally important for you and all your struggles.

You are an independent, lone-ranger blazing new trails in evangelicalism and you need a sidekick. You need a close friend that can be sympathetic to your situation or, perhaps a mentor that can help you see the light at the end of the tunnels you are traversing.

You are in my prayers, Kemo Sabe!