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Belated Twelve Days of Calvinism
by C Michael PattonDecember 30th, 2008
4 Comments
I can’t believe I forgot to post this, but here it is anyway. (Thank Carrie Hunter—I only contributed in a minor way).
On the first day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, the fallen nature of man.
On the second day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.
On the third day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, John chapter six, called and chosen, and the fallen nature of man.
On the fourth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, Synod of Dordt, John chapter six, called and chosen, and the fallen nature of man.
On the fifth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt, John chapter six, called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.
On the sixth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.
On the seventh day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.
On the eighth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.
On the ninth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, errors of middle knowledge, belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.
On the tenth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to, Arminian heresy, errors of middle knowledge, belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me, Romans 8 & 9; Arminian heresy, errors of middle knowledge, belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my Calvie explained to me that I’m really a Calvie, Romans 8&9; Arminian heresy, errors of middle knowledge, belief is a work, predestination, world isn’t world, 5 GOLDEN POINTS! Synod of Dordt; John chapter six; called and chosen and the fallen nature of man.
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4 Comments
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Nice!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[...] is not intended for theological debate
, but I enjoy theological humor. You have Michael Patton (along with Carrie Hunter) to thank (or blame) for this belated parody of the “Twelve Days of [...]
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The Calvinist sees three identical urns filled with the same coffee, and says, “We are predestined to drink coffee”; the Existentialist sees three identical urns filled with the same coffee, and says, “Yes, but from which urn should we drink?”; the Arminian simply sits down, saying, “Good think I brought a thermos of tea . . .”.
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“Arminian heresy”?
That kind of killed it for me. Try again.
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