Rewind 20 years: 1988

Walking past the sign at John Marshall High in Oklahoma City which encouraged students to come to Bible study at 6:30 in room 208. Not me. No, not because I did not like the Bible, but because it would be filled with nerds whom I did not want to be associated with. I smirked as I thought that the only reason they were taking this path was because they could not be like me—cool like me. Sure I went to FCA, but all the cool kids did. One kid even approached me, Davey Peirce, and asked me about Christ. I remember his exact words. “Michael, I want you to tell me more about this Jesus Christ.” “Sure,” I responded, “I will get back to you.” I never did. He asked me because I seemed to know a lot about the Bible during that session. Indeed, relatively speaking, I knew more than most. But Christ was a hamper to my style. My indulgence would have to be put on hold if I walked that path right now. I told Christ that I would be back after high school. I was just too busy.

Fast-forward 5 years

With Smashing Pupkins and Blind Melon playing in the background, I lay on the carpet face down in Arizona on my best friends floor in his room. It had now been three years since I told Christ I would be back and here I was. Dropped out of school (although I took my fathers tuition money), drinking every night, playing Madden 93′, living part time with my girl friend, stoned and making jokes about how I would not live past 21. As I lay on the floor, I told the Lord I was sorry. I just did not know what to do. “Lord, forgive me. I don’t even want to be different and for this I am ashamed.”

Fast-forward 1 year

At my apartment in Oklahoma City alone late at night. I happened to have a copy of C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity. I read through it over a weeks time. I was still living it up, but now a comtempative fear and unsettled emotion continually gripped me. “What? What do you want? I don’t know what to do? I don’t know how to change my desires.” This book further confirmed what I had known all along (and believed). Christ is indeed who he says he is. I am his. “I don’t know how Lord. Give me the desire to have the desire to serve you for I don’t even want to right now. But I want to want to.”

One night after reading the book (I really don’t know why I am telling anyone this!!), I had a rather odd experience that really scared me. In one of those times between awake and asleep, I felt the sudden presence of many evil entities in my room. I know that this is really strange coming from me, but, whatever it was, it shaped me at this time. These “entities”, it seemed to me, were all holding me down and I could not get up. My eyes were open, but I did not have any control. Suddenly, there was an incredible evil in the room. One greater than all the rest. It seemed to search me and examine my will, thoughts, and temptations. After this spiritual examination, this entity said (not audibly), “He is nothing. Don’t worry.” He then left. He said this after he examined how I could be tempted sexually. Since then, I have always been afraid that I would overcome much, but sexual temptation may be my downfall. Still don’t know what I think about that night.

Fast-forward 1 year (keeping track? 95′)

Cycling in and out of my spirituality, looking to my friends like I have multiple personality disorder from hell, I met with Chet Lackey. He was my pastor whose church I would go to before I would hit drown night at the Dug Out. “Chet, I have this crazy urge that has been building inside of me. I don’t know what else to say but I think I am supposed to serve the Lord . . . maybe even . . . ahem . . . go to seminary.” Chet was always so gracious and caring. He love me. I know he did. “I think you are too” was his response. “Wow!”

Fast-forward 6 months

Digging through my mothers book cabinet looking for anything that had the hint of Christian or Bible, I found a series of tapes from Insight for Living. Suffering was the subject. Chuck Swindoll? Never heard of him, but mom says he is the best. So I begin to listen to them. I listened so many times that I had the sermon memorized (still do). Job suffered so much, but would not deny God. I had suffered none, but denied him all the time with my inability to completely commit to him.

Fast-forward 3 months

Chet died. Why? He was very young. His wife, Suzanne, said that I was going to carry on his legacy. Ha! What a joke. But I gave her a hug and dreamed that one day I could be like Chet.

Fast-forward 3 months

Crying by my bed comptemplating my failures. I was drunk and had just sunken lower than I had ever sunk. It seems that every time I would “get out” of the life of sin, I would get back into it and multiply my sin and condemnation ten fold. This failure had come just after I had finished a teaching series called the “All-American Bible Study.” What a fool I was. All these people came to my teaching for months. I talked about the truthfulness of Christianity, the importants of the Scriptures, the prophecies about Christ, then I do something like this. I was making a mockery of Christ. “Lord,” I said with tears in my eyes, “Just leave me alone if I am going to do this! Why can’t I change. I truly want to now, but I don’t find the strength.” The next morning (Monday) I got up and recommitted myself (like I had done a hundered Mondays before). Friday came around and this is the time I fall. Over at a friends house, everyone was preparing for the night. They were all fixed up and in wonderment about what the night was going to hold, how drunk they were going to get, and what girl they would wake up with. I was there with them. The mini fridge opened and my friend offered me a beer. I started to reach out to get it, but I stopped and declined. “Oh, have you quite again” he said in a mocking way” (justifiably so). “Yes.” “Okay, we will see you next week” he said as I went down the stairs to go home alone. I hesitated, almost went back up, and then went on down. I never came back to that life.

Fast forward 6 months

I have a new PC Study Bible computer program. I read the Bible every day. I carry commentaries to work. I memorize large sections of Scripture. I am writing a book, just finished my 100th page. It is called “Defending the Faith to the Next Generation.” I was a know it all. I would scorn you for not reading the Bible as much as me. I had all the answers, theological and practical. Most people just tried to stay away from me. Even my mother said “Michael, all you want to talk about is the Bible.” “So!” I thought to myself, “You sound like you don’t love God as much as me.” Ouch! What a turn around.

Fast forward 1 year

I was now the student body president at American Christian College and University. It was a charismatic school and I was not a charismatic. I sat down by Fred every day in class. Fred spoke in tongues, I did not. When I first began talking with Fred I felt I needed to convert him. He just needed some good theology and I was just the man to straighten him out. But as I got to know Fred I realized that he really did love Christ—the same Christ as me! How can that be? He speaks in tongues. My professor believed that Jonah was a parable and denied inerrancy. But he seemed to love Christ just like me—the same Christ. Ninty-nine percent correct with one percent false equals one-hundred percent false! Right? Well, I was rethinking some things.

I was now working at Southwest Radio Church. It is the longest running Christian radio program in America. It was KJV Only. I was talking to a girl on the phone who asked if KJV was the only version one could be saved by. According to my employer, this might very well be the case. But I was very uncomfortable with it. I began to study the text and the history of the Bible. My employment ended a few months later as I was in the office with the President and said that I could not, with good conscious, work there anymore.

Fast-forward two years

It was my first class at DTS . . . more to come.

[I will be at ETS all this week so it may come later rather than sooner]

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