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Encouragment for those moving toward deism
by C Michael PattonOctober 26th, 2008
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Life often seems to be a series of dichotomistic events that don’t harmonize with each other. What do I mean? Sometimes it seems that it is raining in the front yard while sunny in the back. Sometimes our lives seem to be so full of joy and success in certain restricted areas while painful and full of sadness in others.
My life has been such for some time now. For the past five years the sun has not exposed its light in my front yard, but when I go to the back yard, there is not a cloud in sight. These are two areas of my life that are at odds. My family situation starting with my sister who took her life five years ago and my mother who’s mind has been lost due to the aneurysm three years ago is dark and sad. My dad is falling now. Each time I step out into the front yard, the storms continue ferociously. I keep looking for a break in the clouds, but it never comes. Depression, anxiety, fatigue, and hopelessness fill the atmosphere. The smell is a smell of death. The mourning delayed turned mourning denied provided by my mother’s condition keeps the clouds overhead in great anticipation, but alludes my hopes of the security her death would provide were it to come. In these conditions, I understand the Psalmist’s cry and contend with him in anxiety:
Psalm 22:1-2
My God, my God, why have You forsaken me? Far from my deliverance are the words of my groaning. O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; And by night, but I have no rest.
If I am able to separate myself from the perpetual hopelessness of the happenings in the front yard, I can go to the back and see a different perspective altogether. The clouds of pain are not to be found. God’s joyful presence and power are continually evident here. I walk out into the backyard each day. I find the fruit of labors changing people’s lives and encouraging souls through ministry. As well, my immediate family bring me such a joy and they are all healthy. In these conditions, I understand the Psalmist’s praise and contend with him with confidence:
Psalm 66:1-5 Shout joyfully to God, all the earth; Sing the glory of His name; Make His praise glorious. Say to God, “How awesome are Your works! . . . Come and see the works of God, Who is awesome in His deeds toward the sons of men.
I don’t think that I am the only one who takes part in such a life of seeming dichotomous conditions. It would seem that King David found Himself in such a life, and I am glad God thought enough to give us the record of his struggles.
In the front yard prayers just don’t seem to be too persuasive. Certainly not like the prayer Moses offered up on behalf of the Israelites (Ex. 32:11-14). Spend too much time here and deism becomes a very reasonable worldview. As tempting as it is to lock the front door, I try to spend as much time in the rain as I do in the sun. I know that the Lord is the Lord of the front yard and the back. I know that there is a reason for the bad whether and I am thankful for the good. Even though I cannot sense God’s presence as much in the pain, I know He is there. Why? Because that is what He said. He never promised sun.
Sadly, I know people who have no relief either in the front or back. I know people that have never seen the sun. Both the front yard and the back are filled with perpetual tragedy, pain, and loneliness. I am sorry if you are one of these people.
Others simply have cloud colored glasses. They are unable to escape their perception that it is raining, even when it is not. This is just as tragic. Truly, I am sorry. I understand you pain and have no answers. My sister was there and the clouds of sadness took her.
To all of you who join me and the Psalmist in the temptation for deism, let us take courage. Christ has risen. The clouds will soon break forever. It is true. Don’t be overcome. While the darkness is real, so is our hope. May God give you strength until sin is no more.
Romans 8:18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.
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10 Comments
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(In the words of most callers to talk radio programs)…
Hi Michael,
First time responder, long time reader
I can’t tell you how refreshing it is to read such honest comments, especially coming from a pastor/teacher! I identify with your feelings completely (as I know many others do as well), and I applauded you for such openness. I wish other Christian pastors and leaders would be so honest!
Peace Bro,
Damian
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Thanks for the honest and thoughtful post. Oh, to share in His sufferings, to become like Him in His death, that we may ultimately attain to the resurrection of the dead.
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Thanks Michael. I really appreciated this one.
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Thanks. I need to remember this. Depression always ruins God’s work.
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Thanks for the post. It is an excellent way to look at that dichotomy in life and faith we face.
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Thank you Michael
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Excellent post Michael.
Even though I cannot sense God’s presence as much in the pain, I know He is there.
Interesting you say this. Though I haven’t faced much hardship I think I sense God’s presence more in the pain than other times.
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Thanks, Michael, for sharing your heart. I found it personally encouraging. My life situation is the same as it has been, but Christ alone gives me to the perspective to go on. Again, thanks.
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I read something Rick Warren said a while ago, which this reminded me of. He said that he doesn’t think of trials as a roller coaster anymore. He thinks of it more like railroad tracks. The good things are there, but along side are always the hard things. I think that this is true, very much as you have expressed it with the front and back yard.
Thanks again for your honesty…. we can all relate, but You are certainly dealing with some extremely weighty circumstances…. the stuff that tests our faith.
When I tuck my kids in at night, I read the Bible to them and we pray. Sometimes I ask them to pray. At times they say: “I don’t know what to pray for.” I always tell them to think of things to thank God for. This has become a habit for them. I think that it is critical that we keep thinking of what we have to be thankful for, and turn this into Godward thanksgiving. He commands it of us. It is healing to our souls.
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It is tempting to think that God is detached from our suffering, that He
does not intervene in our lives as much as we wish. I have been thinking
about this a lot also, God never promised us a life that is good and happy.
I sometimes think that all we look forward to is the next life, this life is too
“fallen” to be redeemed, sometimes we are happy but these times never last.
I guess life is mysterious, there is too much pain and sometimes there are
moments when we encounter joy so strong that we cannot even bear it. I
think of our Lord and how His life was, many small moments of deepjoy and
many moments of suffering and pain. How His life ended. I also factor in my age,
as I grow older my hopes and dreams lose their glow, what gave me hope
once doesn’t excite me anymore. A friend of mine said that in our lives we only
have some instances where we have minutes of real happiness. I think of these
and then something good happens to cheer me up and they vanish and I
see the glass as half full again. I guess this is our portion living in a fallen,
incomplete world where we really do not belong anymore.
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