[...] A True Life Crisis of Faith (How do you think you might respond?) [...]

THE FIRST STAGE
As I walked through the wilderness of this world, I lighted on a certain place where was a den,33Bedford jail, in which the author was imprisoned for conscience’ sake and laid me down in that place to sleep; and as I slept, I dreamed a dream. I dreamed, and behold, I saw a man clothed with rags, standing in a certain place, with his face from his own house, a book in his hand, and a great burden upon his back. Isa 64:6; Luke 14:33; Psalm 38:4. I looked and saw him open the book, and read therein; and as he read, he wept and trembled; and not being able longer to contain, he brake out with a lamentable cry, saying, “What shall I do?” Acts 2:37; 16:30; Habak 1:2,3.

In this plight, therefore, he went home, and restrained himself as long as he could, that his wife and children should not perceive his distress; but he could not be silent long, because that his trouble increased. Wherefore at length he brake his mind to his wife and children; and thus he began to talk to them: “O, my dear wife,” said he, “and you the children of my bowels, I, your dear friend, am in myself undone by reason of a burden that lieth hard upon me; moreover, I am certainly informed that this our city will be burnt with fire from heaven; in which fearful overthrow, both myself, with thee my wife, and you my sweet babes, shall miserably come to ruin, except (the which yet I see not) some way of escape can be found whereby we may be delivered.” At this his relations were sore amazed; not for that they believed that what he had said to them was true, but because they thought that some frenzy distemper had got into his head; therefore, it drawing towards night, and they hoping that sleep might settle his brains, with all haste they got him to bed. But the night was as troublesome to him as the day; wherefore, instead of sleeping, he spent it in sighs and tears. So when the morning was come, they would know how he did. He told them, “Worse and worse:” he also set to talking to them again; but they began to be hardened. They also thought to drive away his distemper by harsh and surly carriage to him; sometimes they would deride, sometimes they would chide, and sometimes they would quite neglect him. Wherefore he began to retire himself to his chamber to pray for and pity them, and also to condole his own misery; he would also walk solitarily in the fields, sometimes reading, and sometimes praying: and thus for some days he spent his time.

Now I saw, upon a time, when he was walking in the fields, that he was (as he was wont) reading in his book, and greatly distressed in his mind; and as he read, he burst out, as he had done before, crying, “What shall I do to be saved?” Acts 16:30,31.

I saw also that he looked this way, and that way, as if he would run; yet he stood still because (as I perceived) he could not tell which way to go. I looked then, and saw a man named Evangelist coming to him, and he asked, “Wherefore dost thou cry?”

He answered, “Sir, I perceive, by the book in my hand, that I am condemned to die, and after that to come to judgment, Heb. 9:27; and I find that I am not willing to do the first, Job 10: 21,22, nor able to do the second.” Ezek. 22:14.

Then said Evangelist, “Why not willing to die, since this life is attended with so many evils?” The man answered, “Because, I fear that this burden that is upon my back will sink me lower than the grave, and I shall fall into Tophet. Isa. 30:33. And Sir, if I be not fit to go to prison, I am not fit to go to judgment, and from thence to execution; and the thoughts of these things make me cry.”

Then said Evangelist, “If this be thy condition, why standest thou still?” He answered, “Because I know not whither to go.” Then he gave him a parchment roll, and there was written within, “Fly from the wrath to come.” Matt. 3:7.

The man therefore read it, and looking upon Evangelist very carefully, said, “Whither must I fly?” Then said Evangelist, (pointing with his finger over a very wide field,) “Do you see yonder wicket-gate?” Matt. 7:13,14. The man said, “No.” Then said the other, “Do you see yonder shining light?” Psalm 119:105; 2 Pet. 1:19. He said, “I think I do.” Then said Evangelist, “Keep that light in your eye, and go up directly thereto, so shalt thou see the gate; at which, when thou knockest, it shall be told thee what thou shalt do.” So I saw in my dream that the man began to run. Now he had not run far from his own door when his wife and children, perceiving it, began to cry after him to return; but the man put his fingers in his ears, and ran on crying, Life! life! eternal life! Luke 14:26. So he looked not behind him, Gen. 19:17, but fled towards the middle of the plain.

The neighbors also came out to see him run, Jer. 20:10; and as he ran, some mocked, others threatened, and some cried after him to return; and among those that did so, there were two that were resolved to fetch him back by force. The name of the one was Obstinate and the name of the other Pliable. Now by this time the man was got a good distance from them; but, however, they were resolved to pursue him, which they did, and in a little time they overtook him. Then said the man, “Neighbors, wherefore are you come?” They said, “To persuade you to go back with us.” But he said, “That can by no means be: you dwell,” said he, “in the city of Destruction, the place also where I was born: I see it to be so; and dying there, sooner or later, you will sink lower than the grave, into a place that burns with fire and brimstone: be content, good neighbors, and go along with me.”

http://www.ccel.org/ccel/bunyan/pilgrim.iv.i.html

Vladimir

[...] A True Life Crisis of Faith (How do you think you might respond?) [...]

I can empathize with Greg. I went through a two-year period where I could not hear God. Yet, God never left me. I kept praying. Nothing! What I learned during that time is this, God is with us, whether we can feel Him or not.

Some believers put great emphasis on feeling God, as if that is spiritual maturity. Actually, it’s not. Spiritual maturity comes by faith. It’s faith in what you cannot see or feel, not what is visible.

So, I continued to pray and cry out to the Lord. And in the end, He taught me to live by faith and not by sight or feelings.

Recently, I went through another crisis of faith: If you are interested, I documented what I went through and what God taught me. The link is: http://thestrategyplace.com/godfire/?p=263

So, I would encourage Greg and others to not give up. In the end, this desert walk has a purpose and it will test our faith and cause us to follow God, even when we cannot see Him, feel Him or hear from Him.

Lynn E. Sheldon
Modern Day Discipleship | Discipleship Studies

“If everybody who wanted God to speak, then it didn’t happen, left the faith there would be no Christians.”

Then we should be thankful for all of the ways that he has spoken in history and still speaks to us today!

I’d try to get Greg involved in a short-term missions project, either overseas or in the inner-city. One of the greatest things is to meet people who have come to Christ from hopeless backgrounds and in amazing ways, and then to see their lives today.

Recently I’ve run across some awesome video testimonies under the series title “More than Dreams” (Omnitube). It is about Muslims who came to Christ, some without any Bibles or other Christians to influence them.

If everybody who wanted God to speak, then it didn’t happen, left the faith there would be no Christians.

A couple of thoughts, suggestions and questions for Greg:

- Perhaps the problem might be with you and not with God and his existance/non-existance? Depression (including clinical depression) and despair are real problems, as is emotional pain. I don’t know your personal circumstances, but have you talked with a spiritual or even psychological counseler about personal issues that you might be going through? It may not be as much a spiritual crisis as much a personal one…

- You define yourself as an “ex-Christian” but that is negation and not a definition. What are your core beliefs then? What defines “good” and “evil” in your eyes? This may just be your time to take an honest look at the philosophical roots of your worldview. How much Christian apologetics have you read? There is nothing wrong with reading the critics either (such as Nietzsche), but read with a critical mind. Have you read much real, un-sanitized history? Specifically the infanticide, mass murder and other perversions of non-Christian history? Just a thought…

- Lastly, you talk about your “deconversion” but are you really sure you were really saved in the first place? Many are brought up in the church — or even become “born-again” in what they think is salvation but is instead an emotional experience — but are still not yet saved. Perhaps the Lord has been getting you ready to hear the true Gospel over the last nine months. Perhaps you needed the “cultural Christian” cobwebs stripped from your eyes — the day-to-day life in the church, the assumptions people hold without question or intellectual understanding, the unexamined life — before the Lord will make you ready. If so, I hope you continue to pray, and pray for salvation. The Lord will answer, thought the timing will be unknowable (until after the fact).

IT grieves me greatly to read of this event in Gregs life.
I do however know of many men and women who have looked to circumstances to validate their faith or lack there of.

If we are looking to our circumstance to validate GOD then we are going to be disappointed.

We each have a different road to walk but our belief in GOD cannot be based on just our reality in our circumstances.

The Book of Job has been the most difficult of books to read and understand from a human perspective.

But when you look to the summation of JOB’s statements you realize that he gets very little understanding or sympathy from his friends but in the end GOD restores his health and the wealth that was lost. His basic conclusion is GOD is GOD and I am just a man who stuggles in this life.
I am sure we would here JOB make some similar statements to Greg and may have felt he (JOB) had lost his faith.

Your struggle is one many of us “Christains” go thru.
I know the answers you seek may not be found.

You have NOT lost the faith…. you have reached the VERY conclusion the ” Preacher ” reached in the following verse.

WORDSearch BIBLE Software
NKJV
Ecc 12:13
Chapter 12
13 Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep His commandments, For this is man’s all.

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Your statement in your posting shows you still have FAITH in the true sense of the word and not a feeling that is based on your circumstance !!!!

YOUR QUOTE Greg
My purpose in life is now to do good, fight evil and develop close relationships with good people. I still obtain my understanding of good and evil from the Bible and I plan on sending my kids to a Christian school.

IF you had lost your FAITH your choice would be to abandon the faith. Instead you are still FIGHTING back by what
1) Continuing to DO GOOD
2) Fight or despise EVIL
3) Develop relationships with others
4) Seek after wisdom for your children.

IF you really thought the CHRISTIAN faith was a farce you would never want your children to be exposed to the “untruth”

SORRY I just don’t buy your arguement that you have LOST your FAITH. In Fact I think your faith has GROWN and you are experiencing GOD’s work in your life thru maturity in the FAITH.

Growing pains will always be a MARK of the FAITH.

It is a result of searching for the truth

I am perplexed like Greg by reason #2. Another ten years of study I might come into some kind of understanding and response to the issue.

Few students of the Bible are able to grapple with Greg’s #2 reason.