Leaving Christ(ianity) – A Christian Epidemic
I sat down with a young lady a couple of weeks ago and had a conversation. This was a conversation about faith—her faith. Better put, this was a conversation about a faith that once was and is no more. She was a very interesting and bright lady—inquisitive, well-read, and suspicious. She began by telling me that she was a Christian (past tense) and had since left the faith. Christ was once a part of her confession, but, as she recounted to me, after a long voyage of not finding sufficient answers for her doubts, she believes that she had no choice but to follow her own integrity and renounce Christ all together. I asked her what her problems were and she became very emotional. It was like I represented Christianity and she was ready to take it all out on me.
Ignorance. Pity. Shame. These are all good descriptions of what she thought of Christianity. But the primary description that I felt coming from here was “betrayal.” She had been betrayed by the Church because they duped her into a belief not unlike that of the tooth fairy. When she discovered this betrayal, no one had a valid answer or excuse. So she left. She is now an unbeliever—a soon-to-be evangelistic unbeliever.
One fascination, obsession, and focus (neurotic pulse?) I have in my life and ministry is with regard to those, like this young lady, who leave the faith. You may have noticed this. I have over a dozen books giving autobiographical sketches of those who once proclaimed to be Christian and are now evangelistic atheists, agnostics, or skeptics, with their goal to convert or, rather, unconvert others. I have been in contact with many people who either have already left or are on the verge of leaving. I get emails, phone calls, and visits from the same.
No, it is not a neurotic pulse. I believe that it is the recognition of an extremely serious issue that we are facing today. We are facing an epidemic in Christianity—an epidemic of unbelief among our own. Crowding our churches are those who are somewhere in the process of leaving. No, I am not talking about leaving a denomination. I am not talking about abandoning some institutionalized expression of Christianity. I am not talking about leaving the church (though related). And I am not even talking about renouncing religion. I am talking about those who are leaving Christ.
Over 31 million Americans are saying “check please” to the church, and are off to find answers elsewhere. Jeff Schadt, coordinator of Youth Transition Network, says thousands of youth fall away from the church when transitioning from high school to college. He and other youth leaders estimate that 65 to 94 percent of high school students stop attending church after graduating. From my studies and experience I find that leaving church is many times the first visible step in one’s pilgrimage away from Christ.
The question that we must ask is a very simple one: Why? Why are people leaving the faith at this epidemic and alarming rate? In my studies, I have found that the two primary reasons people leave the faith are 1) intellectual challenges and 2) bad theology or misplaced beliefs.
First, I want to explain this transition process, focusing on the first: intellectual challenges. You might even find yourself somewhere on this journey.
Step one: Doubt
Step two: Discouragement
Step three: Disillusionment
Step four: Apathy
Step five: Departure
Step One: Doubt
Here is where the person begins to examine his or her faith more critically by asking questions, expressing concerns, and becoming transparent with their doubt. This doubt is not wholesale, but expresses an inner longing to have questions answered and the intellect satisfied to some degree. Normally this person will inquire of mentors in the faith, requesting an audience for their doubt.
Step Two: Discouragement
This is where the person becomes frustrated because they are not finding the answers. They ask questions but the answer (or lack thereof) causes them discouragement. Their church tells them that such questions are “unchristian.” Their Sunday school teacher says, “I don’t know. You just have to believe.” Others simply say, “That’s a good question, I have never thought of it before,” and then go on their way on their own leap-of-faith journey.
Step Three: Disillusionment
Now the person begins to become disillusioned with Christianity in general and proceeds to doubt much more deeply. They feel betrayed by those who made them believe the story about Christ. They feel that much of their former faith was naive since not even their most trusted mentors could (or would) answer basic questions about the Bible, history, or faith. In their thinking the intellect has become illegitimized and the church is therefore an illegitimate contender for their mind.
Step Four: Apathy
At this point in the journey, the disillusioned Christian becomes apathetic to finding the answers, believing that the answers don’t exist. They are firmly on their way to atheism, agnosticism, or pure skepticism but don’t have the courage to admit it to themselves or others. Many times those in this stage live as closet unbelievers, believing it is not worth it to come clean about their departure from the faith. They want a peaceful existence in their unbelief without creating controversy. Therefore, they are content to remain closet unbelievers.
Step Five: Departure
Here is where I meet this young lady I told you about. (Really, she was somewhere in-between apathy and departure.) At this stage the fact that they have left the faith has become real to them and they are willing to announce to the world. Because of their sense of betrayal, they feel as if it is their duty to become evangelists for the cause of unbelief. Their goal and mission becomes to unconvert the converted.
“I don’t really even care what you have to say to me,” she told me that day. “I just don’t believe anymore and there is nothing anyone can do about it.” As I thought about this young lady over the last week, only one thing keeps coming to mind: how was she a part of the church for so long without the church engaging her on these issues. You see, her issues were numerous, but foundational. She doubted the resurrection of Christ, the inspiration, inerrancy, and canon of Scripture, and the historicity of the Christian faith in general. If the church had legitimized her questions during the doubting phase and truly engaged her from an intellectual front I can’t help but think, from a human point of view, things might have been different. But once she reaches the point of apathy, this seems to be a point of no return.
My life and my ministry is committed to one thing: rooting people theologically by presenting the intellectual viability of the Evangelical faith. While I understand this is not all there is to the Christian faith, it is an absolute vital part of discipleship and foundational to everything else.
Everyone will go through the doubt phase. Everyone should ask questions about the faith. If you have not asked the “How do you know . . .” questions about the message of the Gospel, this is not a good thing. We should be challenged to think through these questions early in the faith. The Church needs to rethink its education program. Expositional preaching, while important, is not enough. Did you hear that? Expositional preaching is not enough. It does not provide the discipleship venue that is vital for us to prevent and overcome this epidemic. We should not fool ourselves into thinking that it does.
The church has been on an intellectual diet for the last century and we are suffering from theological atrophy. What else do you expect when we have replaced theological discipleship with a gluttonous promotion of entertainment, numbers, and fast-food Christianity that can produce nothing more than a veneer of faith seasoned for departure?
The solution: to reform our educational program in the church. To lay theological foundations through critical thinking. To understand that the great commission is to make disciples, not simply converts. And most importantly, we must pray that God will grant a revival of the mind knowing that without the power of the Holy Spirit, no amount of intellectual persuasion can change an antagonistic heart.
Without these, the epidemic of leaving Christ will only worsen.
“The heart will not accept what the mind rejects.” —Jonathan Edwards
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Tricia Spencer on 18 Feb 2009 at 6:34 pm #
You state that ” My life and my ministry is committed to one thing: rooting people theologically by presenting the intellectual viability of the Evangelical faith.” I was so rooted. Saved from an early age, studied my whole life (50 years old now), went to seminary, continue to search and study.
I am still intellectually rooted. But further down the road I have discovered the “errancies” of the faith. Surprising to me is that the forceful imposition of Islam literally into buildings in America, helped to jolt me out of my stupor to an awakened mindset regarding all religion.
Christianity, like Islam, has it’s shining tenets. But as a whole both and all religions are heresy. They say little about God, if when or who.
I want my life to stand for what is real, good, one with creation, however created. Christianity no matter how hard you work, no matter how hard you try, just like I did…is not the truth.
Lee Picton on 18 Jun 2009 at 9:44 am #
Even though my dad was an Episcopalian priest, I knew religion was all ridiculous by the time I was seven, although I never came out publically as an atheist until I was in my fifties. You say that people must be made aware of the intellectual viability of faith. What a ridiculous notion! Religion is intellectually bankrupt and always has been. Nothing is more powerful in destroying a young person’s beliefs than education – why do you think fundies are so terrified of it? It’s because they know there is no there there. The adults have too much invested in their crazy beliefs to give them up, so try to perpetuate their craziness into the next generation. But thank goodness, it is starting not to work – the young are leaving religion in droves, so good on them. I only wish I could live long enough to see the non-religious in America exceed 25%.
Debra on 31 Aug 2009 at 9:36 am #
I too left evangelical xtianity. It started with me crying out to God himself to know if I was following any false teaching. Lots of circumstances. Too many for your word requirement. I learned that xtianity has no idea about what they claim to be the first half of their bible. Just as I too had no idea about. Torah is the first 5 books. I would venture to say most of the xtian population has never read it straight through or without a preconceived belief. If you read Torah and you read the test of a prophet in Deuteronomy 13 and 18 you will find that it is anyone who teaches against Torah. Both JC and Paul teach against Torah as it is written. In addition. The lineage does not line up in the gospels when compared to Tanakh/OT. 4 gospels…different facts…5th is Paul’s “my gospel” and 3 conversion stories…Did they see or not, stand or fall, hear or not? Genesis 17 is the covenant to Abraham of circumcision. Paul says it is unnecessary, yet necessary for Timothy. He promotes eating unclean food for Israel teaching against Torah. Says to uphold Torah in Romans 3 and that it is nailed to a tree in Galatians. Two opposites are not truth. And Torah in irony is the “foundation” of xtiainity. Bible put together hundreds of years later, with fighting about it/80 something books, some miising now…16 Crucified Risen “saviors” in History. Yes, xtians believe with a blind faith and choose not to prove it by the words of hypocrisy they hold in their hands. I did too.
Gisela on 10 Sep 2009 at 7:14 pm #
I was a church-goer for a long time (convinced I was saved by praying the “sinner’s prayer”). Over a period of a few years, to my horror, I began progressing through these steps that you have outlined in this post. I made it to “apathy”. My mind toyed with the idea of “departure”. I began to wish I had died in my mother’s womb, thinking that would have been an easier life.
I reached out “one last time” to God. I wanted to reach The Real God, on His terms, Whoever He was, I wanted the **Real** and Actual God.
His answer was to show me my sin one night, and allow me to see a choice before me: Choose things that Jesus named as sin (pleasurable for a season), or, choose Him.
I cried out to Him to help me forsake my sinful ways and love Him with all my heart…I asked my pastor how many times Jesus would “put up with me and forgive me” and was answered with the blessed Gospel–all sins were nailed to the cross with Him–
I surrendered my will and my life to Jesus (“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life”)
Everything CHANGED, and I couldn’t explain it. But the reality of my changed heart, and the unmistakable indwelling of the Holy Spirit…these things catapulted me WAAAAAAAAAY far away from apathy!
I had just been born again, but it took me a few months to come to that realization. In the beginning, I was confused, thinking I’d been saved ALREADY…so…what was this change that had occurred? But exposure to solid teaching over the next few months, helped me to realize that I had undergone true conversion.
So…
I just want to point out that for all those years when I’d thought I was saved, I *DID* believe solid Christian teachings. But those beliefs began to crumble over time, because…you JUST CAN’T SUSTAIN CHRISTIAN FAITH if you’re not even born again!!
As you wrote,
“no amount of intellectual persuasion can change an antagonistic heart.”
I would also say:
An antagonistic heart will UNRAVEL the GREATEST amount of intellectual persuasion!
The Lord has to change the antagonistic heart, period.
Cretien on 11 Oct 2009 at 3:47 am #
Perhaps if we would all preach that Christ Jesus shall return in 2018, there maybe hope for those who are lost. I do pray that you will visit this site for more insights unto the things to come; http://theelects.org
Grace be with you.
BillE on 11 Oct 2009 at 9:40 pm #
Notice how all the atheists are attracted tothis post and other Christian posts? It’s because they KNOW in their hearts that there is a God and they are still searching. It’s sad to be them. I know there is a God and I honor him. They KNOW there is a God and they choose not to honor them.
Frederick on 17 Oct 2009 at 4:12 pm #
People reject God all the time but the human psyche just cannot handle the awful reality of that decision. Consequently they either become hypocrites, deny God’s existence or claim Lucifer to be the really creator. So sad…
Lee Picton on 17 Oct 2009 at 11:30 pm #
I am not the slightest bit sad about being an atheist. Nothing is more liberating than knowing that there is no celestial nanny peering over your shoulder. I feel sorry for all those who are good only because they fear judgment from his nosiness. Seriously, the idea of a personal god is just ridiculous, and always has been. If I am good, it is because it is the right thing to do , and I take responsibility for my own actions. No claiming that “the devil tempted me,” and thus shedding all responsibility. And no, I never rejected god, just as I never rejected Santa or the tooth fairy. They are just pretend, and there is nothing to fear. I would pity all those who live their lives with delusion, but, quite frankly, I have better things to do with this, my only life.
Korinthian on 19 Oct 2009 at 6:00 am #
I think it’s a good idea that you will ramp up the teaching of the bible and the background to that book(s). Like many people have mentioned before: nothing helps a person along the path to atheism like the bible.
It’s when you get past the special pleading for the Christian god and his “inerrant” word that you realize how it’s just another religion, based on superstition and childhood programming.
Personally, I’d cut out the Old Testament which makes it obvious how evil the Judeo-Christian god is.