Church and Bad Hair
I didn’t go to church this morning—one reason: my hair. My stylist has cut back her hours and her openings conflict with my schedule. A STYLIST? You have a stylist? Surely that would be the question for anyone who knows me. But without one, the honest truth is I would normally look a lot worse than I actually do. Now, this is not an issue of a low self image. I’m a realist. I know my strengths. For example, I have good teeth and a good smile. But bad hair always trumps good teeth.
But why shortchange the Lord by not going to church just became of bad hair? (I wish my church had a confessional. I’d go to a priest and pour out my heart.) A few months ago, a man at church, who has made friendly jabs at me regarding my Calvin Seminary situation, poked fun of my hair. He laughed at me. That did it. I stay home for bad hair. There are many people at my church who I’m sure think of me as an uppity woman for exposing the seminary. I can deal with that—any day. I’ll answer any question, show any document. But I’m guilty when it comes to my hair. Had the seminary cast me out due to bad hair, they would have been entirely justified.
Why not wear a hat? I love hats, but until a few more bad-hair ladies join in, a hat will only serve to draw unwanted attention. John says, Just put a bag over you head.
Now that’s a cruel, if not sexist, comment! This morning as I was lamenting my hair, I presented an air-tight case to him on the sexism inherent in hair. He’s seriously balding—-FAR more so than I am. His hair is much thinner and more stringy than mine is, but no one laughs at his hair. He can go to church with his head high while I hunker down alone at home in my misery with only the Sunday paper and shimmering river to keep me company.
Here is the evidence for why I stayed home this morning.
Here is the hair that actually went to church.
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Chuck Miller on 27 Apr 2008 at 1:35 pm #
I will confess I didn’t see much humor in this post. Today at church I witnessed a woman in a wheelchair, with a bag of urine attached to it, while she sang hymns and listened to the preaching of the Word. I saw a man sit through two-hours of church with his cell phone held in the air, so his wife who is hospitalized with a stroke could “attend” church, by phone, from her hospital bed.
I can only surmise that they did not know how foolish they looked.
Luke on 27 Apr 2008 at 2:43 pm #
I found much humor in it! Church has nothing to do with going to a building anyways, so the false piety thing doesn’t rest well with me. Thanks for the post Ruth, keep them coming!
Chuck Miller on 27 Apr 2008 at 3:32 pm #
Luke,
You take offense at what you perceive as false piety, while I see it as obedience. Besides, it isn’t my piety I was using as an example, it was another’s act of worship.
Forsaking the assembly of the saints for an issue of vanity is much more offensive. Being foolish enough to boast about it is even more so.
“Church has nothing to do with going to a building…” that unoriginal remark certainly rings of true enlightenment.
If Ruth wasn’t open to the possibility of setting herself up to criticism, I trust she would not have posted it in the first place. She’s taken tougher hits than this.
Irenically Yours,
JoanieD on 27 Apr 2008 at 3:56 pm #
Funny, Ruth! Were there supposed to be TWO photos, though? I understand the “Here is the evidence for why I stayed home this morning” that accompanies the photo I see, but what about the “Here is the hair that actually went to church.” ? Was that to go with a photo of your husband but the photo is no longer there? Or maybe I am just confused. Wouldn’t be the first time.
Ruth Tucker on 27 Apr 2008 at 4:25 pm #
Thanks for catching that Joanie. I sent 2 photos to Michael with my initial post, and have emailed him twice this afternoon asking him to post the second photo, but he must be out of town. The photo of my husband is well worth your wait!! Stay tuned.
Luke on 27 Apr 2008 at 5:30 pm #
Chuck said,
“Irenically Yours”
Thanks for the laugh!
Dr Mike on 28 Apr 2008 at 7:45 am #
Chuck and Luke:
Relax, eh?
I applaud those who, despite severe obstacles, make the effort to participate in worship in some form or manner. At the same time, if Ruth wants to stay home on a particular Sunday because of bad hair, what is that to me and you?
Hebrews 10 is pretty clear that “forsaking” is the total abandonment of gathering with other believers, not the failure to be in church every time the doors are open.
Again, I think it is inspiring that people go to the lengths they do to be in church, but Ruth missing a single service hardly makes her reprobate.
Jeremy on 28 Apr 2008 at 9:02 am #
Before I opened this post I got about half way through it before I realized that it wasn’t C. Michael Patton writing about not going to church because of bad hair! ahaha…I was wondering why on earth he would even care.
Stumbler On The Way on 28 Apr 2008 at 11:24 am #
Ironic that something like this should make the blog sandwiched between
discussons on gender roles. Not many men would choose to stay home
because of a “bad hair day.”
JFrances on 28 Apr 2008 at 1:43 pm #
Dr. Mike writes: “Hebrews 10 is pretty clear that “forsaking” is the total abandonment of gathering with other believers, not the failure to be in church every time the doors are open.”
I think this brings up a particularly good point for consideration. I doubt that most Christians (though I admittedly have no stats to support this) would say that one must “be in church every time the doors are open.” That’s seems obvious, to me.
However, when we “should” be in a church assembly (worship service, Mass, etc.) is a fair question.
I have a longtime dear friend, active in her church, teaches Sunday school, directs the children’s choir, who I have heard say on a number of occasions that she often “gets more out of worship” when she’s hiking with her husband in the mountains on a Sunday than when she’s at church.
Similarly, I’ve heard another friend comment that he would really just as soon stay at home on a Sunday than have to deal with making his small children behave during Mass.
Now, I hardly think, as Dr. Mike defends, that missing church on the Lord’s Day makes anyone necessarily reprobate. Those of us working out our salvation on a daily basis make bad choices on a daily basis, too. Yet, even apart from words like “Holy Day of Obligation,” one still must consider the corollary questions which arise from Ruth Tucker’s post:
Why do we observe the Lord’s Day?
Does it matter if we are in church on the Lord’s Day?
Does it matter if we aren’t?
What circumstances would mitigate an absence from church? Why?
Are some exuses better than others?
Does God really care?
Alyssa B-D on 28 Apr 2008 at 1:47 pm #
Thanks for the moment of levity, although it didn’t last through the first comment! Good evidence that this blog NEEDS someone like you to be funny!
I personally think your hair is very of-the-moment. Look at it in a more rock star kind of way and you’ll se what I mean….
If I posted mine, you’d've gone to church just to escape….
Ruth Tucker on 28 Apr 2008 at 4:55 pm #
Alyssa, you say my hair is very of-the-moment. That may be what it looks like in the photo. But my husband is a far-less-than professional photographer, and he really didn’t do my bad hair justice. It was far worse than “of-the-moment” in person.
Alyssa B-D on 29 Apr 2008 at 1:22 am #
Perhaps a shot from a different angle?
Maybe just dye it some crazy color and go with it….
JoanieD on 29 Apr 2008 at 5:49 am #
JFrances, you ask good questions in #10:
“Why do we observe the Lord’s Day?
Does it matter if we are in church on the Lord’s Day?
Does it matter if we aren’t?
What circumstances would mitigate an absence from church? Why?
Are some exuses better than others?
Does God really care?”
I likely am not a good one to answer these questions because I am not attending church myself. My reason? My husband doesn’t want me to. (He doesn’t like Christianity and he doesn’t want me to take away time on weekends that I could be doing something with or for him.)
BUT…even when I was going to church, I didn’t feel guilty if I didn’t go (except for when I was a child and it was a “sin” to miss mass…but even then I would only miss if sick so I guess I didn’t have the opportunity to feel guilty.) There were people who were much more involved in the church life than I was and I really couldn’t commit to any more than attending church due to objections from my husband. It seemed necessary to keep the peace at home to some extent. So I would only go to church when there wasn’t something my hubby needed me around for. (It’s amazing how many things he could come up with!) With the Catholic Church mass being so well-attended, my absence would not be “felt” the way it would have when I was attending (prior to marriage) a small non-denominational charismatic church. When I would miss there, I knew there were people who would wonder if I was OK. I also didn’t want to miss the singing, preaching, praying, etc.
But now, I can read, study, pray, work and feel that God is still with me and I don’t feel “guilty” about not being in church. I know the Bible says that when two or three are gathered in his name, that God will be present and I felt the Spirit of God in palpable, powerful ways at gatherings and I do believe that God would like us to get together to honor him as a group. But I also know that God is with me when I pray privately and quietly. “Be still and know that I am God.” That’s in the Bible too!
Joanie D.
Michael J. Phillips on 29 Apr 2008 at 7:48 am #
Wow,
I think this has legs. If the parchment powers that be are paying attention, one might argue Ruth has stumbled upon a great idea for a post series.
MJP
Dawn Kalnajs on 29 Apr 2008 at 10:23 am #
I think it is important for believers to attend church. Obviously there are circumstances where one cannot be in church. But I do think that only in our affluent (and individualist) Western culture would anyone ever think of skipping church because of a bad hair day. For some reason I just can’t imagine believers in China or India or Africa doing the same thing. I think it’s sad that we in the West can take so lightly what people in other areas of the world often risk their lives for.
Susan on 29 Apr 2008 at 11:54 am #
Ruth, I remember one very humid Sunday I struggled longer than usual to tame my naturally curly hair into submission. I was late for church because of it, which I confessed readily to my pastor’s wife. She laughed (I felt less guilty about my vanity).
So, to quote Dan Wallace’s “favorite passage that’s not in the Bible”: “Let he/she who is without sin, cast the first stone!”