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Top Ten Reasons Michael Patton is a Heretic
by Carrie HunterJuly 14th, 2007
9 Comments
With all the rioting Michael has incited the past few days, I thought I would let everyone in on the reason behind it all. The method to the madness. It is because Michael Patton is a heretic! The following are the top ten reasons why…
10. He uses big fancy words like Prolegomena.
9. He has a lot of books about postmodernism in his library.
8. He has a lot of books about the Emerging Church in his library.
7. He writes letters to the pope.
6. He wanted to write letters to the bishops of the Eastern Orthodox Church but couldn’t find the words.
5. He realized he didn’t need words to communicate with the EO so he painted pictures of himself with a halo around his head. (Dan has to dole them out next time he is in Greece.)
4. He invented the arch (TTP students who have taken Trinitarianism, yea you know what I’m talkin’ ‘bout).
3. He can not be pinned down theologically. (Believe me I have tried! One would have better luck getting the pope to state Protestants have genuine churches.)
2. He agrees with Dan Wallace.
And finally… the number one reason why Michael Patton is a heretic….
He disagrees with…..
ME!!!
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9 Comments
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This is why I love this place!
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But the real question was if it was the liberal-leaning left cheek, or the historically sensitive, theologically correct, elect right cheek? I mean, saying tongue in cheek is fine, but really… we all know that _which_ cheek is significant and can be very divisive.
;^)
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Very funny, Carrie H! I bet Michael will get a real kick out of it.
Joanie D.
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FREEDOM! In light of Carrie outing Patton as a heretic, I feel compelled to be honest,…. “my name is Rob, and I am a heretic.”
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“Hi Rob!” Welcome to heretics anonymous. We are glad that you have passed step one.
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I am glad all of you guys like this.
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LOL Steve!
I would say the cheek on the right side of my face as that is my best profile (and is the lest heretical)
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You forgot to say that he is:
catholic and not Catholic.
orthodox and not Orthodox
fundamental and not Fundamentalistic
a father but not the Father
a son but not the Son
a free spirit but not the Spirit
and finally
he is cool dispite the fact he likes U2 Carrie
Mr. Pope (aka poep)
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He is indeed a heretic, else how could he (not He) allow me to blog hereon.
Clay
The primary objective of all Bible study should be application.
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