Parchment & Pen Blog

Top Ten (More) Signs You Might be Taking this Emerging Thing a Little TOO Far


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Well, I am not just trying to just pick on the Emerging church (especially since I am always being accused of being a part of it!), but I wrote the original ten as twenty. I did not want the last ten to go to waste. In fact, I think they may be better than the first ten! 

10. You start a Christian blog, but leave it blank, fearing that you might offend someone.
9. You are not any good at art, yet you continue to present the Gospel by painting stick figures on recycled paper.
8. When you present the Gospel, Heaven is renamed The Matrix and you call yourself Neo.
7. Your church caters from Whole Foods.
6. Every sermon illustration begins with “The other night I was drinking a beer and . . .”
5. Your website links to Green Peace and the Democratic National Convention just because conservatives are against it.
4. You brag that you have never been pinned down theologically on any issue.
3. You will not hire a pastor who has NOT been divorced.
2. You don’t worship on Sundays because everyone else does.
1. You evaluate truth by asking how many people hold to it. If it is too popular, then it is wrong.

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7 Comments

  1. forhisglory says:

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    11. You have a painting of Jesus wearing little black glasses, sporting a goatee, and burning lots and lots of candles behind him as he speaks to the crowds.

  2. forhisglory says:

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    12. You used to call yourself a “Christian” as a kid but then changed to “Follower of Christ” because you concluded that everyone who calls himself a “Christian” is a judgmental hypocrite. Now that you’ve concluded that everyone who calls himself a “Follower of Christ” has become a judgmental hypocrite as well, you currently refer to yourself as “one who gravitates within an intimate relational sphere of Christ’s influence”.

  3. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

    lol. That was great. I really like 12.

  4. mjfreshoil says:

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    Hello Michael,

    I think this list is great. I also noticed something disturbing. If this list were an accurate representation of the emerging church (which it could very well be), there appears to be a great effort at being non- conformist, or non-religious. The problem though takes shape when you become religious about being non -religious.

    Doesnt evangelicalism suffer from the same problem? Our love for Jesus has gotten lost in the religions of anti-abortionism, anti-homosexualism (Im not even sure if thats a word), anti-feminism and others that are on a sort of “top ten reasons you know Im evangelical” type of list. In the process we have become irrelevent. Jesus made a very profound statement:”Woe unto the you, scribes and Pharisees (insert evangelicals?), hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint, and anise, and cimmin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, jugdement, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone”(Matt.23:23). We have done our religious duties, and thats great. But do we really do what matters?

    Just an early morning rant. Thanks for the space.

    Miles

  5. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

    Miles,

    I think the key phrase is “too far.” This would not be an accurate representation of the emerging church, but it might be a parody of someone who has taken the thoughts of the emerging church too far.

    The emerging church is non-conformist, but not necessarily to the degree of this top ten list.

    Sometime, we will come up with one for evangelicalism.

    These are simply meant to help us not take ourselves too seriously. :)

    Thanks for the comments once again.

  6. JoanieD says:

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    Miles said, “We have done our religious duties, and thats great. But do we really do what matters?”

    That’s a good and important question, Miles.

    Joanie D.

  7. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0

    More signs you might be taking the Emergent Church thing a little too far

    From Parchment and Pen:10. You start a Christian blog, but leave it blank, fearing that you might offend someone.9. You are not any good at art, yet you continue to present the Gospel by painting stick figures on recycled paper.8.

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