It has come to my attention recently that my busy work with my duties at RMM have caused be to become careless and somewhat callused regarding my relationships. I have the privilege of working with and serving many people who love the Lord very dearly. Each day, most of my conversations have Christ or some aspect of Christianity forming a presupposed backdrop to everything we say (as always, waiting for applause to cease). Whether it is talking about Trinitarian controversies or about how to make RMM more visible, these conversations have as their foundation our love, passion, and mission for Christ and the truth of the Gospel. So how is this callused and careless? I am getting there.

Today I was playing my XBOX with my seven year old daughter Katelynn (OK, you are right, this activity was not in line with what I said above being that fighting with Wolverine and Capitan America is not very spiritual–but we are killing bad guys!). Where was I? Oh, we were playing XBOX. Not only this, but we were playing XBOX Live. For those of you who don’t know what that means (I did not until last week), it means that I had my XBOX console hooked up to the Internet and I joined forces with others around the world who were playing the same game! We were a team fighting the forces of evil together. After I had played for a while I recognized that I could hear voices of others through my TV talking about the game. I immediately realized that these were the voices of my teammates who had a headset on. They were talking to each other (cool, huh?). I hurriedly grabbed my headset and plugged it in (did not want their voiced to be broadcast through the house if you know what I mean. Who knows what they would say?). Once I was on air I was relieved that I had plugged it in when I did since the two fellas that were playing with me were cursing like sailors (hey, who can blame him? I was Spider Man shooting webs at everyone but the enemy :)). I turned my mic on and that is when it hit me: I have not talked to an unbeliever in a long time. OK, I don’t know whether these guys were an unbelievers, but I was encountering them outside of what has become my tight circle of relationships. One guy dropped out and it was just me and a guy from Virgina. We had a rather pleasant conversation about the history of Marvel comics. He filled me in on this much needed information. He was a very nice guy who eventually let me in about some trouble that he had been having with the law. We talked for about thirty minutes all together. No, I did not win the guy to Christ if that is what you are thinking (applause turns immediately into crickets), but it was a nice time and convicted me quite a bit.

I have been irresponsible with my relationships because I have not been trying to make friends outside of ”the camp.” I have become callused because I remembered this article that I wrote just a couple of years ago. What hypocrites we become. I will leave you with this article and my hopes that I will remember that Christ’s circle was never so tight.

How many friends do you have that don’t know Christ? Better put, how many people who are not Christians would call you their friend? The statistics are clear; once the average person becomes a believer in Christ, he or she loses contact with all unbelieving friends within two years. This might be termed “pagan friend shedding.” Some shed themselves of their former relationships with unbelievers on purpose and some as a consequence of their new life. A misinterpretation of 2 Corinthians 6:14 might be used as justification: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Therefore, many believe to be Christian means that we lose all association with unbelievers. But this is a wrong interpretation. Paul is not telling us not to have unbelieving friends, but not to join together with unbelievers in their practices and worldview. In other words, the yoking together means to join with them in their lifestyle and belief system, and, therefore, becoming like them. This does not mean that we are not to have unbelieving friends. Christians should have unbelieving friends. Let me give you four reasons why Christians should be intentional about having friends that do not know Christ.

They are sick and in need of hope.

Today more than ever we live in a world of hopelessness. People today are searching for something to believe, they just don’t know what and they don’t know where to go. The “religious leaders” of Christ’s day had this philosophy of “pagan friend shedding.” Seeing Christ eating and drinking with unbelievers (befriending them), they began to look down upon him. Christ responded by telling them that “it is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick (Matt. 9:12). Sadly, many Christians today would, like the “religious leaders” look down upon Christ for giving hope to the sick.

They keep you real.

Many of us have been in Christian circles so long that we don’t know what it is like in the world outside of Christianity. Our terminology and thought pattern can quickly turn into “folk theology.” “Folk theology” is having a belief or practice and not knowing why we have it or what it means. You may have quaint sayings or Christian cliché which, if challenged on them, you would be at a loss as to what they mean. In exclusive Christian circles, you may be able to get away with saying, “the Spirit moved,” but an unbeliever would challenge you saying, “What exactly does it mean that ‘the Spirit moved.’” Do you know? Having unbelieving friends keeps you real.

They are not shy about their struggles and ask great questions.

Believers sometimes feel that it is “unchristian” to ask tough questions. This should not be. Believers should always be the first to ask the tough questions. The earliest definition of theology given by Anselm in the 11^th century was credo ut intelligam “faith seeking understanding.” Unbelievers struggle and have real tough questions that believers should pay attention to. For example, an unbeliever may have a real struggle with the doctrine of hell. Many believers would bypass the difficulties of the question saying that it does not bother them because the Bible teaches it. It’s the “the Bible says it, that does it” mentality. While it is true that the Bible teaches it, it is a great difficulty that believers need to recognize. Hell brings great distress to the heart of unbelievers, and it should bring great distress to our heart as well. Hell is a reality, but some people make the doctrine of hell very cold. Unbelievers ask good questions that believers need to have seriously struggled with and considered.

Because Christ had unbelieving friends.

Christ was on a mission to reconcile the world to Himself. He had both unbelieving friends and believing friend. He sought to win the lost and to disciple the won. There was a great balance in his ministry. If you want to follow Christ’s example, associate with all those in need. The Kingdom will be here soon. Let us keep our focus straight. The one thing we will not be able to do in heaven is to bring an unbeliever to Christ. Let us have unbelieving friends.

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